


in the time of cherries

by KoreRosemarinus



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - World War I, Classical Greek and Roman references, F/F, F/M, Get the tissues out because it's gonna get REAL ANGSTY AND SAD, Grief/Mourning, HEA but we really take a long time to get there, Historically accurate-ish, I cannot emphasize the amount of angst, Italian Countryside vibes, Italy, Lovers to Enemies to Lovers Again, M/M, Multi, Obscure Wine References, Phasma gets a girlfriend, Philosophy jargan, Semi Period-Typical Homophobia, Stormpilot and Gingerrose will be somewhat background, Wartime, Wartime Romance, World War I, all aboard the pain train, historically semi-accurate, wine wine wine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:07:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25564840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoreRosemarinus/pseuds/KoreRosemarinus
Summary: In the summer of 1915, Rey and Ben are sweethearts in the small Italian island village of Chandrila. In the days of drinks at the Hotel Nymeve, village festivals, and the wine harvests, the lovers and their group of friends live the idyllic life. As World War I comes around, Poe, Finn, Hux, and Ben are asked to fight, and Rey’s future changes dramatically. The group of friends find themselves changing with the Jazz Age and the Rise of Fascism on the horizon, and Rey finds herself asking her heart the impossible: to take a chance once more.ORThe Italian 20s fic you may or may not have asked for with queer romance, copious amounts of wine knowledge, leftist propaganda, seaplanes, mafiosos, seaside hotels that are DEFINITELY not modeled after Varykino, and lovers torn apart by fate and war.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Phasma/Qi'ra, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 21





	1. pt. I, ch. 1: marzo 1915

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the dear author was watching Porco Rosso, and somehow this extensive epic came out of it. 
> 
> **First things first:** I want to thank my beautiful wonderful beta @storiesofreylo for keeping me honest about the time and setting, proofreading my grammar, and just being a darling human being <3 
> 
> **Some disclaimers:**  
>  I will probably go into some heavy violence (it is war after all) in some of the middle chapters but will tag and add warnings accordingly. I can't completely guarantee historical accuracy but I am trying my absolute best to stick to the WWI timeline accordingly and keep things as realistic as possible without completely compromising the creative narrative. I will plug historical notes, SW references, and the Italian translations at the end of each chapter. I am tragically not Italian (although I did live there for a short while) so I may slip up on some of the cultural awareness. I will do my absolute best to not do so intentionally. 
> 
> In a classic cheesy way, this one goes out to all the lovers torn apart right now, by war, disease, or other things bigger than themselves.

* * *

####  Part I: primavera

#### Chapter 1: marzo 1915

It was a beautiful day, almost unlike any other, Rey Kanata decided. The bottom of her pale olive green dress teased the small waves of the Mediterranean as her bare feet dared to enter the shallows. The shock of the colder temperature of the water surged into her ankles and up her legs, but then disappeared in the blink of an eye. Rey was quite used to the waters that wrapped around Chandrila Island, but, due to its beautiful location off the coast of Italy, the waters were never too cold. 

Rey gazed up into the sky, enjoying a beautiful vision of fluffy clouds and incandescent sunlight. The sea wind blew across her freckled face in a familiar greeting, and her braided chestnut brown hair beat against her back in response. After all the years Rey has lived here, she never tired of the natural beauty of her home village. But, today, especially, was a beautiful day, considering the company she was keeping today. 

Down the stairs from Hotel Nymeve, the crown jewel of the island, Rey and her friends took regular picnics by the coastline, drinking and eating and talking about absolute nonsense or brilliance, depending on the day. Poe, Hux, and Finn often talked about philosophy (a tragic habit that developed in the group’s school years). Rose and Phasma often discussed the latest books they had read, and got into polite but fierce debates about whether or not Romanticism was actually a “good” genre. It always ended in drinking Phasma’s family vineyards’ best vintages and giggles that lasted into the night. 

And then there was Ben. 

Beautiful, handsome, sweet Ben. 

Ben, who Rey had known since her childhood, had always captured her attention in particular. At first, it was due to being what can only be described as the bane of her existence. He was an absolute torment, as most boys are as children, and was a positive bully. In her teenage years, the torment seemed to completely dissolve into friendly neutrality, and eventually grow into genuine affection. Ben was awkward, almost like he was on the fringe of every gathering. At the various events and parties Rey’s guardians Maz Kanata and Carlo Baca put on at their Hotel, he was always hidden in the muted light of the wallpaper, and never really interacted unless it was with the friend group or at the strict behest of his mother, Mayor Leia Organa. 

It was natural that Rey and Ben connected in their later teen years: Rey, perhaps due to being an orphan (in one sense of the word), was by her nature quite shy. She carried around a deep seeded feeling of detachment from social gatherings. In all honesty, she had trouble being comfortable with others, and, if it weren't for the consistent and fervent attention from her friends, she might be completely alone. She often met with Ben in impromptu wallflower sessions at these parties, when she wasn’t helping her guardians with the festivities, here they bonded over a shared love of people watching and the Classics from Ancient Greece and Rome. Turns out that Rey’s bookish nature came in handy, as it helped her woo the man that was once her anathema into the love of her life. 

It was at one of the parties a few months ago held in honor of Mayor Organa’s recent re-election that they became sweethearts: Ben was suited up in a well-tailored navy three-piece suit with a scowl to match. Rey had recently repaired her favorite blush pink dress that she had had for years and managed to keep in good condition, despite the messy working conditions she had. She had finished serving all the guests’ champagne and joined Ben in his familiar place away from all the reverie of the night. People were laughing and cheering for Leia in a celebratory wine-induced bliss, and her husband Han was cracking jokes with all the people in attendance, which explained Ben’s slightly annoyed scowl. 

But when Rey approached him, his scowl shifted towards a nervous and anxious smile that lasted too quick. Her suspicions were confirmed when he greeted her with a broken laugh and nothing else. Rey gave a polite giggle back, and when Ben said nothing and continued staring at her, she got concerned. 

“Ben, are you alright?”

Ben’s cheeks flushed slightly and his eyes immediately darted away from the floor. Rey tilted her head in concern and acute observation: he had never acted like this before, and although they weren’t always on the best of terms, she imagined they were on better ones now with their recent interactions. 

Before he got too nervous, Ben looked back to her again and finally replied with, “You look marvelous tonight.” 

Rey blushed profusely: her experience with men was limited, and she struggled to take a compliment from anyone, let alone her friend that she may or may not have had recently developed a small crush on. She always found Ben to be roguishly handsome, and with recent revelations about his personality, Rey started to find herself even more attracted to him. Which made this particular comment even more flustering.

She managed out, “Thank you, you look handsome as well. That suit fits you quite nicely.”

As they awkwardly looked at each other for a short minute, Ben quickly responded with, “would you like to have lunch with me sometime?” to which Rey enthusiastically said, “Of course!”

And it was after that lunch date that Ben asked Rey if she would like to start stepping out together, and she could not help but say yes before he could finish asking the question. Her heart reached out for his like a lifeline, like two halves wanting to become whole. It had been a month or so since that date, and Rey had not regretted a single moment of it, and felt at ease with the passionate encouragement of both his parents and her guardians. 

Upon her reminiscing, Ben popped out from around the rocks near where Rey was currently wading her feet in, wearing a loose button-up and slacks and carrying their picnic basket and blanket. Han Solo owned Il Falco, one of the small _trattorie_ in town, and one of the rare perks of being his son was that Ben often was able to smuggle some _aperitivi_ (and occasionally good British whisky). 

Ben, over the course of their courtship so far, began to let down his walls in front of Rey and, on occasion, act in some humor. Today was one of those days as he set the basket down near Rey’s existing blanket and abandoned walking shoes. Once he grabbed her attention, he called out: “Is that you, Amphitrite? You look more glorious than the poets have described.”

Rey gave an amused chuckle as she turned from the sea and walked towards her sweetheart. She sarcastically responded with, “Yes, that would definitely be me, mere mortal.”

Ben dramatically put his hands over his eyes and shielded his face as she started to step closer, “No, I am simply not worthy, my goddess!” he teased. 

Rey rolled her eyes and giggled in simultaneous annoyance and jest. When she made it to Ben, she gently pulled his hands away from his face and gave a beaming smile. 

“Hello, you.”

Ben couldn’t help but smile back and took her cheek into his hand and rubbed his thumb in adoration. 

“Hello, my goddess.”

Rey, in her eternal struggle to take a compliment, groaned and quipped, “you’re going to inflate my ego if you keep that up.”

Ben chuckled and moved his hand from her cheek to hers, and lightly tugged to suggest they both sit down, all while he remarked, “well, it doesn’t matter if it’s true, no?”

Rey groaned again as they sat: “God, are you always going to be this cheesy?”

“If you mean will I continue to state the facts, yes,” he replied in a matter-of-fact way as he put his hand on the ground behind her back.

“ _Bennnnnnnn_.”

“What kind of man would I be if I couldn’t gift my girl a compliment?”

Rey huffed, “Saying I’m the goddess of the sea is a bit more than a compliment.”

“Not exactly, it is simply a fact.”

Rey would have groaned louder if it weren’t for the arrival of her friends. She knew they were nearby because of Poe Dameron’s bellowing voice echoing off of the lake, “Well Plato is just derivative.”

A sarcastic dry response followed: “Oh, so Diogenes is that much superior then?”

Ah, so they were back to Greek philosophy again. Brilliant. 

They looked over and Rey waved to the group as they appeared from behind the rock. Rose Tico, one of the baker’s daughters, waved exuberantly back. She carried a few loaves of ciabatta in one of her hands, which upon recognition created instant salivation in Rey’s mouth. 

“Looks like Rose brought some good stuff then,” Ben observed.

“Oh look, Phasma must have brought something too. I hope it’s a bottle of her family’s _rosati_.”

“Yeah, that’ll be good for the weather today.”

The gang of friends finally reached Rey and Ben, with varying greetings and salutations. Rey stood up, pulling herself away from the arms of her beloved, and affectionately embraced Rose and Phasma. Poe, whose family owned the auto shop in town, and Hux, the young local bookkeeper, continued their fierce debate on philosophy while also intermittently pausing to greet Ben and Rey. Finn, who like Rey was also an orphan, gave her a huge hug and a “Hey, Peanut”, honoring their long-standing tradition of calling each other by the affectionate name. 

They all got themselves situated with their food and wine, and began to truly enjoy each other’s company in the Italian tradition. It was a loose circle of friends on six different picnic blankets: Hux sat next to Rose, who was next to Finn and Poe, inseparable as ever, and then Phasma was reclined next to Rey and Ben, her loose onyx black slacks and creme peasant blouse slightly wrinkling against the blanket. Her impeccable blonde bun contrasted from her relaxed position, which hardly surprised Rey — Phasma always had her bun perfectly pinned back, even during the grape harvests. 

The group found a spot under one of the hotel’s rogue beach umbrellas that shielded them from the overhead sun. The scenery of the Italian coast created the perfect setting for the picnic and for the never-ending but easy conversations they all had with one another. Rey treasured how it never seemed like the friends tired of one another and, despite all the jest, cared for one another as if they were family. Rey, as an abandoned child, was limitedly educated in the concept of family, but never found herself wanting for it. She was surrounded by it in her village, and found particular comradery in Finn.

Finn, who was taken in by the Damerons when he came to the island, currently had a particular ongoing banter with Poe and Hux about the war nearby. Their country declared themselves to be neutral, but the newspapers always detailed the battles and their subsequent developments. It seemed that the Allies were losing traction in the East at the current moment, which served as the topic for the boys’ intellectual debate. 

However, that particular conversation had nothing on the eventual debate over Ben and Poe’s ongoing seaplane rivalry. Poe, as expected from a boy with a family of auto engineers, had learned to fly planes at a young age, and developed a high level of success in winning local seaplane races. 

Despite his prestige, Ben Solo, son of (previously) infamous smuggler Han Solo, inherited his father’s natural talent in the cockpit, and often had the chance to practice in his father’s silver seaplane. Thus, it was natural for the two boys to develop a deep and questionably respectable engagement in such matters. One would hope it was built on a foundation of sportsmanship and respect but with Poe’s obstinacy and Ben’s pride, Rey found it doubtful. She adored Ben but through the years of their friendship prior to their romance, she knew all too well that Ben never backed down from a fight.

“I wouldn’t speak so highly of yourself, you’ll just end up bitter when you lose, Dameron.”

“Says the current loser in our one-on-one record.”

“You got lucky last time.” Ben retorted as he held onto Rey’s waist to bring her in closer to him. She most certainly did not mind.

“It surely would not be due to my clearly superior flying skills.”

“No, it would definitely be due to your ability to cheat.”

Before the back-and-forth began to evolve into actual blows, Phasma interrupted them with caustic sarcasm that would nearly put Wilde to shame: “As much as I enjoy your _extremely_ entertaining squabbling,” she drawled out, swishing her Cerasuolo rosé in her glass, “I beg of you to change the subject. The fête will provide an opportunity to settle the matter, anyways.” 

The Spring Fête was quite the social event in Chandrila. Held in the church courtyard, local artisans showed off their wares, restaurateurs and the like shared their delicacies and drinks, and, to provide entertainment, there was always a boat parade accompanied by a seaplane race. Rey was hoping to cheer on Ben and Poe in the midst of helping her guardians run the tea hour. She had always enjoyed watching the planes with Finn, who both admired the pilots that flew them and their ability to dance among the clouds. 

At the fête, Phasma’s family would be expected to be running a tasting, as they had for every year previous. Hux would be enjoying the festivities as a simple fairgoer (as he was tragically ill-learned in the creative fields) and Rose, along with her sister Paige, would be supplying the bread at the tea. 

Rose brightened up at Phasma’s mention of the event and chimed in with, “Oh yes, I’m so excited! We’re going to be dishing out our new rosemary focaccia that I’ve been perfecting.”

“Rose, I swear, you have got to stop talking about bread or I will dream of it tonight,” Rey dreamily quipped. 

Hux, out of the blue, squawked out, “Has the rosemary been working well then?”

The baker’s daughter lightly blushed as she replied, “yes, it’s been a dream. Thank you so much for bringing it in last week.”

Poe, always searching for intrigue in ordinary things, raised his brow as he took a sip of his wine and looked at the red-head sitting next to him, “Hux, I didn’t realize you were such a botanist.”

Hux glared at Poe with a blush so severe one would’ve easily mistaken it for sunburn. 

“Well, Poe, if you had listened to anyone other than yourself for a moment-” Poe momentarily choked on his wine as Finn and Ben chuckled “-Rose mentioned that rosemary was her favorite plant.”

Hux began to get slightly nervous and shifted his gaze to his wine glass as he continued, “And I saw some on my way to Signora Holdo’s so naturally I had to bring them by.”

Rose, almost in an act of mercy, turned to Hux and smiled as she said, “And I’m very glad you did.”

Rey and Phasma’s eyes darted between the two and nearly in a shared thought they looked at each other as if to say, “Oh they’ve got it bad.” 

It also didn't help their case that Rey knew that the Tico’s bakery was out of the way for Hux if he were coming back from an appointment at Signora Holdo’s home. But, perhaps it was the ambiance or joie de vivre that convinced her to not press it. It was comforting to see two of her friends in the peaceful lull of a budding romance. 

The conversations bled into the afternoon and then the evening, and as the sun decided to set, the group of friends decided that it was time to head back. As they all packed up, Rey stared at the blurring colors of the sunset of the mountains on the island over. She was lost in thought, as always, treasuring the moment of companionship and aesthetic beauty of the world around them. If Rey had to choose, all the friends’ idyllic afternoons would be like this one: joyous and perfect, illuminated by dreams of what’s to come. The purple of the mountains hid the low orange sunset, and the wind of the Mediterranean teased Rey’s hair in a gentle breeze. Before she realized it, her friends bid her and Ben adieu, and she waved goodbye as they began to turn past the rocks on the village path from the beach. For a moment, she couldn’t help a sinking feeling that slid into her stomach from her chest like a slow mudslide, followed by a concerning need to cry. 

Ben approached her with her boots, wary of the melancholy and distant look on Rey’s face. 

“What is it?”

She snapped back to reality in response to Ben’s low voice. She mustered, “I’m not sure, but for a second it was almost like I was saying goodbye to everyone forever.”

Ben sighed and walked closer to his beloved. He slung the large canvas bag containing their picnic blankets over his shoulder and put Rey’s boots on the sand. Rey brushed the sand off her feet and laced herself into her boots. 

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that, sweetheart, I don’t think any of us are going anywhere,” Ben said, taking her hand into his when she stood back up. He brought it up to his lips, and in that instance Rey was enveloped in a comforting warmth that branched out from her chest. She smiled and gave a small, soft giggle.

Ben tugged at her arm and they began to walk towards the Hotel Nymeve. If they planned it right, and no one was in the side kitchen, Rey could potentially sneak in a kiss before Ben ran back to his parents’ villa on the edge of town. 

When they made it to the kitchen door, Ben squeezed Rey’s hand and looked into her eyes. It was tragic that throughout their years of friendship, Rey never paid close attention to Ben’s eyes. They were a beautiful oak brown that seemed to come to life when she gazed into them. She could lose herself in them, stuck in a forest that spanned for miles, and she would think of it as a good way to go. She couldn’t help but smile at him every single time they made eye contact; Rey was drunk in affection for the broody teenager who became a man who somehow charmed his way into her heart and created an irreplaceable divet in her soul. 

Ben gave a small smile as he took her cheek into his hand. Rey could almost cry at the tenderness of his thumb stroking gently as he gazed into her eyes. 

Rey quickly peeked into the window of the kitchen next to the door, and saw no one. She turned back to Ben and abruptly kissed him, holding his face in both of her hands. Ben’s hand caught Rey’s wrist, smiling against her lips as it deepened. The kiss shifted from one passionate one to many smaller pecks, and Ben pressed his forehead to Rey’s. 

“Goodnight, my Amphitrite.”

_God, he is not going to let that go, is he?_

Rey grinned from ear to ear as she dropped her hands from Ben’s face. 

“Goodnight, my darling.”

Ben gave her one last kiss on the cheek and began to walk backwards, not breaking eye contact as he tripped and almost fell back onto a hedge lining the path to the village. Rey clamped her hands over her mouth trying to hold back a snort. 

“My god, Ben!” she called out, giggling like a young girl in love, “Go on now, your mother is probably waiting up for you.”

Ben smiled with the softest eyes and nodded his head as he waved back to Rey. He then turned forward towards the village, and disappeared down the path. 

A rumble of a plane engine sounded overhead and Rey looked up to see a red plane flying across the horizon. For all the years she had lived in Chandrila, she had never noticed planes flying by the island, and especially in the early evening. Rey couldn’t help but become wary as she caught the _tricolore_ circle on the side of the plane. 

Something was coming over the horizon but Rey was at a loss as to what it was. Unable to handle the growing concern at the sight of the plane in the sky, she quickly opened the door to the kitchen and found refuge in her home. Her anxious heart only settled as she made her way to her room with the memory of the kiss shared with her beloved just moments before. She longed to have so many more memories like that. 

And despite whatever the future brought them, she could get through it as long as she had Ben at her side. They could get through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Italian Notes and Translations:**  
>  The chapter titles refer to the timeline in the story, with the months in Italian. "Marzo" is March.
> 
> A [Trattoria](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trattoria) is a somewhat informal eating establishment. It seems very Han to have one. (Han's trattoria "Il Falco" translates to "The Falcon" in Italian.)
> 
> I slightly corrupted Chew Bacca to be "Carlo Baca" to make it more Italian sounding. He still goes by Chewie though, of course.
> 
> ["Aperitivo"](https://www.walksofitaly.com/blog/food-and-wine/aperitivo-in-italy-what-it-is-and-how-to-enjoy-one#:~:text=An%20aperitivo%20\(or%20ap%C3%A9ritif\)%20is,meant%20to%20whet%20your%20appetite.&text=It%20thus%20became%20one%20of%20the%20first%20popular%20aperitivo%20drinks) is the Italian happy hour, and its customary to serve "finger foods" as well as cocktails and beer. These finger foods/tapas are also called aperitivo (or aperitivi in the plural).
> 
> Not so much an Italian note but [Amphitrite](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amphitrite) was the wife of the sea god Poseidon in Greek mythology. She was the personification of the (calm) seas and was a powerful sea goddess in her own rite. 
> 
> "Rosati" is the Italian for rosé wine, which is particularly popular in the coastal regions of Italy. The [Cerasuolo](https://vinepair.com/articles/cerasuolo-abruzzo-italian-rose-wine/) that Phasma drinks is an actual wine! Its from the Abruzzo region (on the Adriatic coast of Italy). Its known for being a great wine for warm spring/summer days as it provides a refreshing mellow taste with a small kick from the Chardonnay grape used. 
> 
> "Tricolore" is the name for the Italian flag (with its three colors). World War I planes had circles on the bodies of their planes with different colors indicating their home countries. 
> 
> **Historical Notes:**  
>  The battle in the East mentioned by the boys is referring to the [Battle of Gallipoli](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallipoli_campaign), which is happening in Turkey during this chapter and if you are at all familiar with history, you know it doesn't end well for the Allied powers. 
> 
> **Star Wars References:**  
> [Chandrila](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chandrila)  
> [(Hotel) Nymeve](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Nymeve_Lake)


	2. pt. I, ch. 2: aprile 1915, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright. Good luck, Ben.”
> 
> “I don’t need luck - I have you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is a major doozy. A huge huge huge thank you to @storiesofreylo for going through this insane behemoth of a chapter (which had to be split into two so expect two updates for the price of one!). 
> 
> **Content warning:** minor Childhood PTSD scene re: dissociation. If this will be triggering for you, please skip from "Rey was perhaps about six years old..." to "Turns out, she was...". Its super brief and more like a mention than an actual scene but just to be sure.
> 
> As always, reference notes will be at the end. Although, I'm leaving a picture of a seaplane (think Porco Rosso, where I found the inspiration for this fic) [here](https://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.flitetest.com/editor_images%2F1528452444950-http---www.toonzone.net-wp-content-uploads-2015-02-PorcoRossoDuel.jpg) for your reference (because its pretty crucial to the plot).
> 
> ALSO I'm entertaining the idea of posting reference photos for the gang's fashion on my Tumblr for reference as the chapters go on, but also maybe sketching so you guys have a reference. Let me know on [Tumblr](https://korerosemarinus.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/korerosemarinus) if you have any input/preference!

* * *

The day of the fête arrived on a relatively sunny Saturday morning. On schedule, the yard of St. Malbus’ was bustling with the village’s most talented cultural propagators to show off the talents of Chandrila. The yard was a large green patch of land that extended to cusp the coastline of the island, down about a mile or two from Hotel Nymeve. It was the ideal location to have a fair, not to mention a highly anticipated seaplane race. 

Rey helped her guardian Carlo Baca (affectionately called by all who knew him as “Chewie”) unload all the tables and chairs from their cart and set them up under a large event tent. Despite her lithe constitution, she was able to help out with the physical components of her position. It certainly took the physical burden off of Maz, who did not share her capable strength.

Maz Kanata was a woman of either sixty-four or eighty, depending on who you asked. What was generally agreed was that she had been a life-long resident of Chandrila and, at this point in her life, it was safe to say she was an institution in the village. She and Carlo married after meeting each other through Han and Leia. After they married, they opened up the hotel and renovated it from its previously abandoned state. They never ended up having children of their own but they always ended up in the happiness of each other’s company. A regular odd couple, they always brought people from all walks of life to their built-in restaurant for afternoon teas and dinners. In particular, the couple were close friends with the Organa-Solos, whom they had over for drinks on various occasions at the hotel. They were all such great friends and were beyond ecstatic when the two children of the group began to step out. Leia considered Rey to be a proto-daughter of her own, even before she started dating Ben. 

Rey was perhaps about six years old when she arrived at the island unaccompanied. She was first found by the mayor at the time Mona Mothma wandering through the streets looking for food and water. She was wearing rags of a boy’s shirt and pants, covered in dirt and debris, hardly recognizable as a human child. By some divine intervention, she had arrived at Chandrila’s docks more or less unscathed. The only memory Rey had was of herself waking up on a boat from nowhere, starving and dehydrated beyond compare. Mothma brought the young scrappy girl to Maz, knowing that her eccentricity in combination with her overflowing maternal instincts would be a perfect match for her. 

Turns out, she was: Rey could not have asked for a better family. A family that chose her and was there for her when her biological family wasn’t. She didn’t even have a memory of them to be bitter at. No matter how hard she tried to think, Rey could not recall any event prior to her waking up on the boat. At first, it frustrated her to no end. Maz held her through countless nights of tears and pain during her childhood, waiting out the emotions alongside her with a nice cup of lemon tea and honey. But now, she was so content with what she had that she chose to leave the past behind her and enjoy the present in front of her. 

Before she knew it, Rey heard a tap on the table she just set up that broke her out of her thoughts and memories. She looked up and her eyes met the calming blue of Phasma’s. The aspiring winemaker held up four bottles of wine and wiggled her eyebrows in an attempt at jest. Rey could not help but giggle with the brightest smile on her face. 

“Finally,” Rey joked, reaching for one of the bottles, “you brought the good stuff.”

Phasma nodded as she eased one of the bottles into Rey’s hands. As Rey examined the bottle label, she strolled over to the table and placed the bottles carefully in front of her. 

“I did,” Phasma responded, “we got a selection of the full range here, with more crates of it coming this way. I thought I’d stop by first to see if you and Chewie needed any help setting up. I know Maz isn’t as able to help so I thought I could pitch in.” 

“You are too kind, thank you Phas,” Rey replied, placing the wine down on the table to join the others, “I think we just need to set up the chairs and we should be alright for the tea and drinks. Rose should be bringing over the bread for the sandwiches soon.”

As the pair of them finished setting up the rest of the furniture with Chewie, Rose and her sister,Paige, came over with loaves of bread between the two of them. They had on their worn-out and flour covered aprons over their beautiful spring dresses. The fête was certainly the event that called for people’s best clothes. Even Rey, working actively during the tea, wore her blush pink dress that she saved for special events. The romantic in her thought it would bring Ben good luck during his race: it was the dress she wore when they first got together. She still kept her hair in her usual braid for practicality, however. 

Rey was, if anything, always pragmatic.

The sisters dropped off the loaves on the table next to the wine on the main table. Rey and Phasma went over to the sisters, giving them their usual hugs and cheek kisses in greetings. They began to start a conversation when Hux came over, dressed impeccably in a navy suit with his straw boater hat and cane in tow.

“You’re early,” Phasma states very matter of factly. One would think she was just stating facts, but only Rey truly picked up on the fact she was teasing him, as always. 

Hux, flustered as always, responded curtly, “I just wanted to see if you needed help setting up.”

He turned and met Rose’s eyes, wide and searching for his. “I know you had to bring a lot of bread, do you need help with it?”

Rey covered her mouth as she snickered slightly at Rose’s blushing face. Paige looked suspiciously at her, brow raised. 

“Oh, thank you Armie,” she said, shifting her hands nervously on the edge of her apron, “But I think we’re okay, we just-”

“Actually,” Paige interjected, catching onto the situation at hand, “I have to go meet Kay to talk about her wedding plans. Hux, do you mind terribly helping my sister unload the rest of the bread?”

Kaydella Connico, Paige’s closest friend, was marrying Mr. Wexley, a British businessman who had arrived on the island a year ago to set up his latest shipping business venture. His subsequent engagement to Kaydel caused quite a commotion in the village, and served as a time expense for Paige as one of her _testimoni._

Hux nodded, “Of course. Rose, lead the way?” He held out his arm, bent at the elbow, for her to take all while trying his hardest to bite back his widening grin. 

Paige took her leave and waved good-bye to Rey and Phasma. Rose, whose cheeks flushed almost as red as the wine on the table, shyly took Hux’s arm and averted her eyes. For all her fortitude and extroverted tendencies, when it came to attraction, all of it seemed to just dissipate. 

“Let’s go,” she quietly said, looking up into his eyes. They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds before departing, not giving a second thought to their friends right there. Rey and Phasma looked at each other and sighed. Rey turned back as Phasma watched them leave and commented: “They’ve got it really bad, don’t they?”

Rey moved the wine and bread to the makeshift bar. “They do, it’s quite endearing to watch.”

Phasma turned to Rey and walked over. “Speaking of which, when are you going to go watch the race?”

“Probably when tea is taken care of. Although, Maz did mention that she wanted to be able to do most of the serving so I could probably sneak out earlier.”

“Yes, you do need to cheer on your loverboy,” Phasma teased with a grin, pulling a pocket watch from her trouser pocket. While it was quite risque for her to wear trousers, she wore them religiously over the usual dress. She mentioned to Rey once that she’s constantly on her feet anyways so she didn’t see the point of wearing a dress with stockings that vines would tear up in seconds. 

“How about I come back and grab you in an hour and half or so?” Phasma suggested. 

Rey nodded, “Sounds good.”

As they parted, Rey was quickly drawn into the small chaos of serving people at the tea. The fête drew in everyone, as expected: including the Organa-Solos, who arrived with former Mayor Mothma and Maz in tow. When they entered the tent, Leia strode ahead and greeted Rey with a huge hug. Han simultaneously greeted Chewie, who was pouring wine for the both of them. 

Leia always managed to give hugs that exuded maternal love, even though she wasn’t her mother. Leia had always doted on her (especially being the current mayor of the village), but when Rey started stepping out with Ben, she really seemed to think of her as one of her own. At first, it made Rey uncomfortable but now she just embraced the adoration and safety in her arms. It was the same sense of safety that Rey felt when Maz would hold her as a child. 

Maz walked over to Leia and Rey and batted the younger’s leg with her cane: “Dear child, don’t you have to get ready for the race?”

Rey gave an uneasy grin: she may be nineteen but being chastised by Maz still set her slightly on edge.

“Yes, but Phasma said she would come back soon and we were going to walk over together.”

The older woman huffed and set her cane aside on the main table. She turned to Rey: “Why don’t you go ahead with Leia? I can handle things with Chewie and I will tell your friend to meet up with you when she comes by. Go cheer on our fearless pilot.”

Rey gave a small grin: Ben truly was a fearless pilot. Plus, she knew better than to fight Maz on it. 

“Thank you, Maz.”

“Don’t thank me, sweet girl,” her guardian replied, squeezing Rey’s hand, “Go and enjoy yourself.” 

Leia put her hand on Rey’s back gingerly. “Shall we?”

Rey nodded, untied her apron and handed it to Maz. Little bubbles of excitement began to swell in her stomach as she reached for her straw garden hat and gloves. She made sure to decorate it with her thick green ribbon to compliment her eyes. Once she placed her hat on her head and adjusted her braid, she hooked her arm in Leia’s and then began walking. Han and Former Mayor Mothma followed suit and they all strolled through the fair, admiring the various stands of artisans and carnival games. 

“Will you be announcing the race again, Signor Solo?” Rey asked, politely curious. 

“Kid, you’re basically part of the family, you can call me Han,” he corrected her, flashing an easy going smile, “But yeah, Lando and I are announcing.”

Lando Calrissian was simultaneously a village icon and an enigma: he grew up on one of the neighboring islands and currently had a house in Chandrila for him to get away from his mining business. He ran the Bespin Mining Facility in Austria during most days, but would often swing by for the occasional drink and holiday. Lando and Han’s friendship went back far: far enough that Maz and Leia never really expanded on the circumstances of their friendship. As Maz always said, what mattered is that they all met each other and stayed good friends. 

They made their way to the beach, where a parade of seaplanes had lined up for the crowd’s delight. Various planes in all sizes and shapes were assembled, but Rey looked out for two particular planes. Her eyes found Poe’s all-black machine with slight orange accents. Poe cleverly named it “Black One” like a dashing hero in one of those American western novels. Currently, he was in the cockpit of said plane, doing last minute checks with Finn watching from the side. Finn had a pensive look on his face, with a slight frown if Rey had to guess. She began to feel concerned for her dear friend and hoped she was just thinking things too deeply.

Right behind his plane was Ben’s silver plated plane, which he inherited from his father. When he first started racing, Han passed off his prized “Millennio” in a bout of paternal affection. Even Ben was shocked at how generous of a gift it was: his father constantly put in effort in maintaining the old and battered plane. It still managed to do the Kessel Run between the neighboring islands in less than twelve minutes. Ben had previously recounted to Rey (after unfortunately she mentioned the plane looked like “garbage” compared Poe’s) that looks can be very deceiving. 

And they were: Ben and Poe’s neck and neck record certainly reflected the Millennio’s prowess in racing. Additionally, there were never any major breakdowns: Han and Ben worked tirelessly to maintain the plane for racing. They were nothing if dedicated and thorough. 

“Shall we head down?” Leia suggested to the group.

“Yes, I imagine our dear Rey would like to give Ben a few words of luck?” Signora Mothma suggested with a wink only Rey could see.

Blushing profusely, Rey nodded and asked, “If you don’t mind?”

Han chuckled, “Our son is lucky to have such a cheerleader. If you would excuse me, ladies, I should go ahead and meet up with Lando.”

“Give him our best, dear,” Leia responded as he kissed her on the cheek. 

“Of course, princess.” Han trotted off to the group amassing on the ridge above the shoreline, 

Signora Mothma snickered behind her gloved hand, “Good to know that nickname stuck.”

The ladies began to walk down the stairs to the shore and towards the planes. Leia waved her free gloved hand to Mothma.

“It is what it is,” the current mayor responded, writing off the teasing tone of her companion. 

Rey hoped her friends would all be teasing each other when they got to be their age. If current trends continued, she saw no doubt in that possibility.

Leia unhooked her arm from Rey’s once they made it down the stairs and she gave a knowing smirk under the rim of her elegant summer hat. 

“Why don’t you go ahead, dear? Dear Mona and I have to look at the other planes and we don’t want to keep you. You know, duty calls,” she confirmed with a wink.

At this point, if any other adult winks at her again, Rey might combust with a mixture of awkwardness and embarrassment. 

Rey adjusted her hat slightly and nodded, “Of course, Signora Organa.”

Leia rolled her eyes, “Dear, I’ve known you since the dawn of time. You can just call me Leia: you are stepping out with my son after all.”

Rey gave a small smile and met her eyes with a little bit more confidence. 

“Okay, Leia, Signora Mothma” she saluted as she turned and strutted down towards Ben and Poe’s planes.

Rey journeyed to her friends’ planes in the midst of aspiring hotshot pilots and village spectators dressed to the nines. The whole village seemed to have turned out for the race in their very best, from women in their Easter dresses to men with their straw hats and canes. 

As Rey approached Poe’s plane first, she overheard words between him and Finn that had an acrid tone to them. She got closer until she recognized the argument that was brewing and kept a respectful distance between the two of them. Having grown up as basically brothers, spats between the two weren’t uncommon but the scene in front of her made Rey’s skin prickle with familiar anxiety. They were having a tense argument, one devoid of all jovial humors and full of genuine, bubbling fury. 

“You aren’t going to tell me what to do,” the pilot spat while checking the gauges in the cockpit.

“You know it isn’t safe,” Finn retorted with his arms crossed so firmly that wrinkles began to grow on his suit jacket's sleeves. His piercing glare never left Poe.

“It’s safe enough.”

“Why are you risking it? For the record you have with Solo?” Finn challenged, his anger nearly visible. 

Poe slammed the oily rag he had in his hand into the cockpit, facing his friend in the sand with a determined stare. He put his hands on the hips of his olive flysuit and a moment of silence passed between the two of them without deterrence. 

“I want to fly and you can’t stop me,” Poe responded, anger and annoyance peaking at the surface of his demeanor, “You can either watch me or walk away if it bothers you so much. I won’t stop you”

Finn, his visage crumbling with what Rey could only identify as deep hurt, held Poe’s gaze before storming off past her. She called out to him but he continued on towards the village. 

Rey turned back to Poe, eyes confused and concerned: “What’s wrong with the plane?”

The pilot huffed, “Finn’s worrying too much, it's just a weird tick with the engine. Nothing that can’t wait to be fixed.”

Rey gave a small nod as the tension started to dissipate. 

“Okay, I trust you on that. You better apologize later,” she commanded with a threatening finger point. The pilot chuckled loudly and muttered, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will,” with his usual lively demeanor and his signature smirk. 

Rey smiled at him and gave a small salute, “Good luck, Poe.”

He grinned back and adjusted his leather helmet, pointing with his chin to the space behind Rey: “Tell that to your loverboy.”

A rogue hand reached out to Rey’s hand, tugging it in greeting. She gave an embarrassing yelp in return and looked up to see Ben, looking absolutely dashing in his slate grey flysuit. Her gloved hand in instinct rested on his chest to stabilize herself. Whether or not it was truly necessary was beside the point.

Ben looked up at Poe with an unusually cavalier smirk.

“I don’t need luck, I have actual talent, Dameron,” he responded with an easy confidence. Rey internally noticed how much he reminded her of his father. Sometimes the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. 

“ _Va a fanculo_ , Solo,” Poe countered teasingly with a flick of his hand under his chin, “We’ll find out who’s the better pilot after today.”

Ben rolled his eyes at the insult: harsh as it was, this was not out of the realm for Poe. He was competitive to the bone.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. _In boca al lupo_.”

Poe gave a salute and a lopsided grin, “ _E crepi il lupo_. See you both later.”

Rey waved as she watched him jump into the cockpit to check the gauges in a last round of checks. 

She turned to her lover and smiled brightly at his face. Rey always enjoyed looking at Ben’s freckles in passing and even more so during moments such as this. He did look quite handsome in his get up. He almost looked like a brave soldier going off into battle.

In the midst of that thought, a sense of extreme foreboding bubbled up in her chest, threatening to break out from her throat. It was a feeling directed at nothing in particular, but Rey couldn’t help but think that something terrible was going to happen. In her mind she wanted to cling to this moment like it was the lifesaver off a sinking boat. 

“What’s wrong, Rey?” the deep voice of her lover sounded, breaking her from her anxious thoughts. His eyes were furrowed in concern and Rey swallowed as she briefly debated lying to Ben.

But she knew she couldn’t lie to him; he knew her just as well as she knew him. 

“I feel like something really terrible is about to happen,” she whispered, her hand on his chest grabbing his flysuit with increasing tension.

Rey met his stare and attempted to convey her anxiety to him. Ben took in her gaze and took her hand on his chest into his, squeezing affectionately.

Without thinking, she rasped, “Please be careful, Ben.” 

Her pilot smiled softly and released her shoulders. He took her fingers to his lips and gave a small kiss. Rey began to blush and felt a small tension in the bottom of her stomach as she watched attentively. 

“Nothing is going to happen, darling,” he smiled reassuringly, “I’ll be safe.”

Rey, for Ben’s sake, accepted his words, ill comforting as they were, and gave a short shaky grin in return.

“Okay.”

Ben squeezed her fingers in a last attempt of assurance. He kissed her cheek, not particularly caring if there were any witnesses, and whispered in her ear, “I’ll see you after the race, alright?”

Rey responded with a more genuine smile as she forced her worry down her throat. Ben pulled away from her and looked at her.

“Alright. Good luck, Ben.”

“I don’t need luck - I have you,” he teased as he walked backwards and then turned to his plane. Rey’s nose crinkled and she paused for a second to admire his broad silhouette before walking towards the spectator’s area. 

Despite Ben’s assurance, she still had the small flutterings of agitation in her core. 

Something terrible was definitely going to happen. She just didn’t know what.

* * *

Rey reached the spectator’s area at the middle of the procession of planes. She saw Leia and Signora Mothma chatting together on one of the benches among some of the other women from the village. To the side of her sat Rose, Hux and Phasma who all waved to Rey in greeting. Rey lifted the skirt of her blush dress as she walked up the stairs, careful not to trip. She held her hat steady as she walked up and greeted Leia and Signora Mothma before turning to sit in between Leia and Rose. 

Rey noticed that Finn wasn’t with them and immediately became concerned. 

“Have you guys seen Finn?” she asked.

Phasma shook her head, “We assumed he was with you.” 

Rey sighed, wanting to go and find Finn, but decided against it. He was probably watching somewhere else. Her stomach began to tighten under the disquiet of the whole situation.

It was Rose who broke her out of her cogitation. “Had to wish your pilot luck, then, Rey?” She teased with a small lift of the brow. 

Rey blushed slightly as she smiled in endearment. Ever since Ben and her started stepping out, her friends found license to relentlessly tease her about it. 

But she found ways to endure it. 

“Yes, I did,” Rey retorted, straightening her back, “and did Hux sufficiently help you with the bread, then? Or did you guys just simply admire your surroundings?”

Rose became scarlet red, but not as deeply as Hux did. He coughed into his fist out of nervousness and Phasma bellowed out a chortle. Rey giggled at the sight of her friends and put her hand on Rose’s thigh. 

“I’m only teasing,” she whispered to her friend, “Did you have a good time at least?”

Rose nodded as she tried to fight a smile. “Very good time,” Rose muttered. Behind them, Hux and Phasma were exchanging the usual quips and jabs.

“ _Signori e signore_ , welcome to the annual Chandrila spring fete!” The booming and charming voice of Lando Calrassian sounded over the crowd. The spectators turned to attention on the announcing platform to the side of the stands. Lando, dressed in an immaculate pinstripe suit, held his megaphone in hand seated next to Han at a small table. Han also held a megaphone cone in his hand and followed Lando’s lead.

“And of course, welcome to the annual Chandrila seaplane race! We hope you enjoy seeing our finest pilots take the course for the pleasure to be called victor. It's not that we’re cheap, it's just because we believe in better things than prizes.”

The spectators all laughed in light of the joke. Leia put her face in her hand as Rey and her friends chuckled in amusement. She muttered, “ _Madonna santa_ , Han.”

Signora Mothma put a hand on her friend’s back, “He sure has a way with words, no?” 

Leia just groaned with exasperation. Rey continued to watch Lando finish announcing.

“The course will be a triple loop around the island, ending at the edge of the cliff of Hotel Nymeve. No cheating or sabotaging will be tolerated, as always. The winner will be crowned our champion, while the loser has to buy all of us a round at the Hotel restaurant after.”

Cheers sounded throughout at the mention of free alcohol. Small pleasures, Rey supposed. 

Han followed, “Pilots, start your engines!”

At the command, the spectators watched all the pilots crank their engines until their propellers began to spin. Rey couldn’t tear her gaze away from the small figure of Ben in the distance. Her heart sounded to attention in her chest as she struggled to look away. 

She beamed when she truly realized how much she loved him. It fluttered around in her chest like the blue butterflies in her garden, grazing on the flowers growing out of her ribs. 

There was one thing that Rey truly loved about Ben Solo: he made her feel _alive_. 

Her heart beat fast in sync with the planes' engines, roaring down the beach. She sent a small silent wish to whoever was listening that they keep Ben safe. 

Because she wouldn't know what to do without him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Italian Notes/Translations:**  
> [Testimoni](https://www.walksofitaly.com/blog/travel-tips/italian-wedding-traditions#:~:text=The%20Wedding,-Traditionally%2C%20Sunday%20was&text=A%20bride%20and%20groom%20have,sometimes%20even%20the%20groom) are witnesses at Italian weddings (traditionally, from what I've read). They act in the place of the bridesmaid/groomsmen. 
> 
> There is actually mining in Austria (but its mostly minerals such as gypsum).
> 
> "Millennio" is Italian for "Millenium".
> 
> "Signor" and "Signora" are Italian for "Mister" and "Missus", respectively.
> 
> "Va a fanculo" is basically "Go fuck yourself." The [swiping of the chin](https://www.gonomad.com/1766-italian-hand-gestures-in-conversation#4_Chin_flick) is considered to also be a "fuck you" gesture. 
> 
> ["In boca al lupo"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_bocca_al_lupo) (and its response "crepi il lupo") is like an equivalent for "break a leg", which, I know, is kinda weird here. But, I think it works here because I imagine there's a superstition among pilots for saying "good luck". 
> 
> "Signori e Signore" is basically "ladies and gentleman" equivalent.
> 
> "Madonna santa" basically translates to "Good God" in English.
> 
>  **Historical Notes:**  
>  THE FASHION! I live for historical fashion so here are some good references for some of the items mentioned in the chapter. They are reference photos rather than exact depictions:
> 
> [Rey's blush dress](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/41/ab/17/41ab1787f2e083ebb18c360a1c269b02.jpg)  
> [Rey's straw hat](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/5d/46/5d/5d465db0f9d6cb644f05cb3feba5eae0.jpg)  
> [Hux's Boater Hat](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71n-gx-tLjL._AC_UL1500_.jpg)  
> [Leia and Signora Mothma's get ups](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8e/ae/93/8eae937a0d29ff7a883e231202709b11.jpg)  
> [Phasma's outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e0/66/e2/e066e2654c0f6e186d81c441657cd47f.jpg)  
> [Rose](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/05/cd/51/05cd516c56fb91c8a8030004bebbc865.jpg) and [Paige's looks](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/47/23/a1/4723a1ec415c31e376b98ec40368c4b9.jpg)  
> [The boys' flysuits](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ad/67/d9/ad67d9fd94dc8bde1173c0f1e8612cce.jpg)  
> [Finn's look (man in the middle)](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/44/e0/a3/44e0a342ed03c8e2044d653199995df0.jpg)  
> 
> 
> **SW Notes:**  
> [St. (Baze) Malbus](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Baze_Malbus)  
> [Mon(a) Mothma](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mon_Mothma)  
> [Kaydel(la) Connix (Connico)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kaydel_Ko_Connix)  
> [Black One](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Black_One)
> 
> Harass me on [Tumblr](https://korerosemarinus.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/korerosemarinus)!


	3. pt. I, ch. 3: aprile 1915, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt an ease that he often struggled to find on his own. It was the same euphoria he experienced when he heard Rey’s soft laughs when they were with their friends or her earnest giggles at his sarcastic quips. The peace would find its way into his chest and then branch out like fireflies into his bloodstream. Rey was indeed his goddess: the magic she held over him was beyond the comprehension of mortals.
> 
> Love was truly something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, BIG thank you to @storiesofreylo for beta-ing this chapter! I honestly don't know what I'd do without you <3
> 
> This chapter is slightly shorter than normal, but Chapter 2 was SUPER long so I had to break it up for sanity's sake. 
> 
> And now, our grand conclusion of our seaplane race (starting with Ben's POV)!

* * *

The deep humming of various engines sounded off down the coastline and reverberated in Ben’s cockpit. The tension in the air was palpable. The pilots flexed their fingers on their gearshifts, waiting for Han and Lando to ring the horn to start the race. 

Ben took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. He took a rapid glance over his dashboard to check the gauges. His eyes switched to Black One in front of him, focused on his main opponent. As his jaw clenched, the horn sounded from the coastline, and Ben’s foot immediately pressed on the gas pedal. 

The race had begun. 

In the blink of an eye, Ben was in the air on his third lap, flying the Millennio with calm hands and even temper, just like he always had. To him, flying alone over the water set him free, beyond all mortal comprehension. The wind blowing across his face and over his goggles and black leather helmet took his breath away and silenced the world around him. 

He felt an ease that he often struggled to find on his own. It was the same euphoria he experienced when he heard Rey’s soft laughs when they were with their friends or her earnest giggles at his sarcastic quips. The peace would find its way into his chest and then branch out like fireflies into his bloodstream. Rey was indeed his goddess: the magic she held over him was beyond the comprehension of mortals.

Love was truly something. 

He didn’t imagine himself to be one for love. To tell the truth, Ben never saw Rey beyond the capacity of friend as children. If anything, he found her to be a challenge to his position in his family. Despite her sudden arrival to the island, she developed into the perfect example of a beautiful child and was heavily doted on by all the villagers; his mother especially. It was hard enough to capture the attentions of his parents, but he couldn’t lose his standing to this nobody - this  _ scavenger _ . 

But loneliness, even amongst their jovial band of friends, is a powerful mender. His mother’s re-election party had confirmed his suspicions: she felt just as lonely as he did, even in the midst of all the vivace of life around them. They were two halves of one isolated whole; two outsiders among the rabble.

They were meant for one another: A fated dyad. 

Ben was then pulled out of his ministrations by the loud clicking of an engine. He saw Black One coming into view ahead of him. He gave the plane some berth, aiming to pull ahead and expecting Poe to counter by cutting him off. 

Sure enough, Poe decided to show off by looping over the Millennio and proceeding to do a few barrel rolls. Ben countered him by accelerating upward, aiming to pull ahead over Black One. 

Not one to be outmatched, Poe aimed to cut him off to ensure his lead. Ben saw Black One, engine fully maxed out, rapidly pick up speed and lift upwards in front of him. He also made sure to include a barrel roll, just for good measure.

_ Show off. _

Ben grit his teeth as he pushed his foot on the gas and attempted to sneak around Poe from the side and fake him out to gain distance.

However, when Ben began to pull ahead onto the side, smoke began to leak from Black One’s engine and the plane began to accelerate downwards into the sea.

* * *

“POE!!” 

Everyone looked to the source of the thundering yell that echoed in the midst of gasps. Rey looked and saw Finn push ahead of the crowd towards the shoreline, eyes never leaving the sight of a smokey seaplane descending into the water. He shucked off his suit jacket onto the sand, wrinkled from his motions, and prepared to jump into the water to save his friend. 

Were Poe a worse pilot, he would’ve lost control and completely crashed into the Adriatic, never seeing the light of day again. But, despite his expendable ego, he was actually a gifted pilot and managed to maneuver himself to land safely on the water’s surface despite the smokescreen. Once he landed, he drove the plane back to his pier on the coastline about a few yards from the spectator’s area. 

The spectators at the current moment were not looking at the plane docking safely, however. They could not pull their eyes away from Finn, staring at the plane, chest heaving like he was the first runner at Marathon. As Poe jumped out of his plane, he pulled off his goggles to look straight back at him, and as their gazes locked with indiscernible emotion, Finn yanked his suit jacket up and stormed off back to the village, spectators watching him as he left. Poe simply pulled off his leather helmet and threw it onto the pier deck in frustration. 

It was clear to Rey that there was something underneath the surface of all of this and she needed to figure it out. 

“Well that was something,” the dry voice of Mayor Organa cracked to diffuse the tension. Clearly the subtext of the scene was not lost on her either. Rey looked over to Rose, Hux, and Phasma, who all shared Rey’s confusion. Rose’s eyes met Rey’s and conveyed concern, and they both seemed to share a moment of suspicion. As close as the two of the boys were, it was still quite an unusually passionate display.

As Rey looked to her, ready to reply, when Signora Mothma pointed to the sky, “Look!”

She looked to the clouds and saw Ben’s Millennio dash in front of the sunlight with a familiar buzz. A relieved grin broke out on her face as she saw her pilot navigating the silver plane across the finish line near the cliff of the hotel’s garden. He was victorious.

“Looks like my boy is victorious,” Leia chimed, giving Rey a smirk, “but didn’t expect anything less from him.” 

Rey nodded, “He always pulls through, it seems.”

They shared smiles and witnessed the Millennio dock after crossing the finish line. They then turned to look at all the planes following behind, gliding in the air like birds under the sun. 

Rey marveled at the sight and Leia took her arm, suggesting, “Shall we go greet our winner?”

“Let’s.”

* * *

As the race ended, and the fête closed up, Ben walked Rey home adorned with a bouquet of flowers, a dirty face and mussed up hair. The village had all gone ahead to the afterparty at Hotel Nymeve, Rey’s friends included, but Rey wanted to have some time alone with Ben before rejoining everyone. 

It wasn’t until Rey had reunited with Ben that the feeling of unease began to return. This time it had returned with a vengeance: it strongly gripped Rey’s throat with its imperceivable hands, silencing her words. 

Ben must have noticed Rey’s unease through her silence and stopped them once they had made it into the hotel’s garden. 

“Darling, what’s wrong? Tell me.” Ben asked. His voice carried an unusual mix of concern and authority, demanding she give him the full truth about how she was feeling.

Rey sighed as she forced her eyes away from the path in front of them and held Ben’s fierce eyes. 

“I just am so happy,” she admitted, teardrops forming at her lash line, “that I feel like I’ll never land from flying so high. And I’m worried because what if everything disappears? What if they just slip out of my hands, Ben?” 

Her lover pulled her into his arms and held her close to his chest, stroking her back to soothe her. In the privacy of the gardens, surrounded by so much color and life, Ben gently took Rey’s face and kissed her on her lips. Rey’s hands reached for his jaw and she held his face, almost as if she needed to be reminded that everything was real; that Ben was with her, safe, and not about to fly away. With a small peck to the top of her head, Ben tucked Rey under his chin.

“There is nothing in this world that could tear me away from you, my love.”

Suddenly, there was the sound of a plane engine coming closer to the pair of lovers. Startled by the sound Rey broke their embrace, looking up to see the red plane from before, sounding a little louder than she remembered. 

Ben followed her gaze up to the sky and saw what she was looking at. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that plane before.”

Rey lost her breath: Something was coming - and it was coming soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No notes this chapter!
> 
> Harass me on [Tumblr](https://korerosemarinus.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/korerosemarinus)!


	4. pt. I, ch. 4: aprile 1915, pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you love him? Ben?” 
> 
> Rey paused, at first scared of how the next words would present themselves as if she had no control over them at all. But, as each second ticked by in the wind, Rey found that a warm glow inched up her chest and traveled throughout her body, all the way down to the tips of her fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where to start: thank you @storiesofreylo for being an amazing beta! 
> 
> We're starting to build up to the end of Part 1 in the next chapter so things are starting to get good! Most likely, I will complete the next chapter and then delay uploading the start of Part 2 in order to work a little bit on my other fic [fire in war](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25237024/chapters/61175662) (a beautiful San Francisco Lawyers AU that is near and dear to my heart). 
> 
> Additionally, as some of you may know, I do actually live in the San Francisco Bay Area and we are currently dealing with historic wildfires at the moment. The world is always asking for help, so all I ask is for some well wishes and your patience. If I am updating erratically, I am probably processing that in my environment so thank you for your understanding.
> 
> Notes as always are in the end notes!
> 
> Also **HEADS UP** this is where the Semi Period-Typical Homophobia comes in (in references to the setting of the story) so read with caution. This occurs in between the first and second section break.

A few days after the race, Rey sought out Finn for a little friendly outing in the village. Phasma, Ben, Hux and Rose collectively seemed to be busy and she was determined to get an explanation for Finn’s behavior at the race. Poe ended up okay, and she knew them to be close, but something in Rey knew that this worry and the subsequent reactions on both parties seemed to be something more than fraternal. 

In the world they lived in, Rey wasn’t so naive to think that if there were something between Finn and Poe that they could live peacefully out in the open. But, she still carried some small shred of hope that it was at least reciprocated. Finn wasn’t the type of man to love by halves: he went into things head first. She hoped that Poe’s easy-going and approachable nature didn’t falsely indicate affections where there weren’t any. She cared so much for her friend that she just wanted to make sure that he was alright. 

Rey approached the Dameron’s auto shop with her picnic basket. She saw Finn sitting on the front bench reading a well-worn book on Plato, deep in thought. She wondered if it was Poe’s; he being the resident philosopher. As her walking boots hit the ground a little bit louder, her friend looked up and flashed her a small smile. Finn’s smiles usually were as bright as the sun in summer, so something was definitely wrong.

“Hey,” she greeted, smoothing out her skirt, “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

Finn huffed as he closed the book and glanced hard at the faded letters on the cover. “No, just some light reading.”

Rey chuckled, “Of course. Want to take a walk with me around the village? I need to pick up a thing or two for Maz and would love the company.”

Her friend tucked the book under his arm and stood up from the bench. “Sure, let's go.”

* * *

As the two of them walked throughout the village, there was companionable silence between them. It was as if they both knew something was wrong with Finn but for whatever reason they didn’t want to acknowledge it. As time went on and Rey picked up a few things from the market, the tension seemed to become more dense and nearly intolerable.

They passed St. Malbus and finally Rey broke the silence, the unspoken tension too much for her to bear.

“I have to know,” she said, stopping and looking directly at her friend under her straw hat, “what happened at the race?”

Clearly not wanting to answer the question, he averted his eyes to the empty path behind them.

“Finn, please, I just want to know: what’s going on between you and Poe?”

Her friend sharply looked back at her; His eyes were like that of a deer in the gaze of a hunter: evaluating but with the inherent fear always in their mind. Rey gently reached out to rest her hand on his forearm in an effort to appease her friend’s growing concern. Rey hoped Finn would understand that regardless of what he was about to say, she would always stand by his side.

After a minute of silence, Finn motioned to the bench at the opening of the churchyard. Rey went from being curious to being concerned: was it serious?

They sat and Finn, after aggressively rubbing his face in a fit of anxiety, finally spoke: “I didn’t want anyone to find out.”

“Find out about what?”

Her dear friend, one of her few comforts in abandonment on the island, looked at her with defeated eyes melded with pain. 

With a sad smile, he admitted, “I love him, Rey.”

She said nothing and did nothing, just gazing at him and listening. He continued, tears streaming his face: “It hurts, almost. I thought I loved him like a brother, but I realized it's like the love the poets talk about, it's something deeper. I didn’t truly realize until the race when I almost lost him.” 

Rey’s heart ached for her friend: she couldn’t imagine the pain if she lost Ben like that. It was truly unfathomable. 

And to love another man in this day and age was something else entirely. They would never get the privilege of walking out in the sun holding hands like Rey and Ben did, nor would they ever be able to be married like they could be. 

Lord knows what would happen if they were found out. 

“And how does Poe feel about it?” she asked, cautious and worried.

Finn gave a sad smile as he tried to forcibly rub away his tears with palms. He paused and stared out to the sky; his chest was thoroughly empty and fully exposed to Rey’s judgement. His secret was out.

“I haven’t told him yet.”

“Does he know?”

“I think so. I’ve been managing to keep my distance though.”

“Finn-”

“Rey, it's for the best.”

She stared down her friend’s face in frustration. He was avoiding things to try and spare himself.

Rey recognized it all too well as she had the same character fault. It's what made them such fast companions: they corrected that failure in each other.

She took Finn’s hand from his lap and interlaced them with hers: “You can’t avoid talking with him forever. If you don’t even give yourself the chance to talk to him, you won’t ever know how he feels.”

Her friend evaluated her with wary eyes. He had the eyes of a man who wanted to run.

She squeezed his hand and smiled at him, “You have to try Finn, for the both of you. You can’t run away forever.”

Tears ran down Finn’s face as he fully comprehended her words. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t run forever.

Maybe, now, he didn’t want to. 

Rey brought him in for a hug and held the teary man in her arms. 

“I’m on your side, Finn,” she murmured into his ear, “You deserve to know happiness. And you’ll never know for sure if you don’t talk to him about it. Whatever he says, you will have me— always. ”

Her friend nodded and hugged her back. He continued to say nothing, combing through the chaos in his head, and Rey held him through it all.

* * *

When Finn recovered, the two friends walked through the village back towards the Damerons’ auto shop. Their conversations stemmed farther away from Poe and more towards the far away battles up north. According to the newspapers brought in earlier that week, the British had landed in Belgium with support from the Canadian troops. At that front, the Germans had apparently been using gas as a weapon, which to Rey’s knowledge had never been used before, it amounted to an incredible number of casualties for the Allies. She winced at the thought of indiscriminate death caused by invisible chemicals in the air. 

“That sounds dreadful,” she said as Finn detailed the story from the newspaper. 

“Yeah,” he responded, “It’s beyond inhumane. Luckily for us, I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry about it.”

Rey’s skepticism flared up at his response. “You really think so?”

Finn, flashing a goofy smile as he ran his hands in the shrubs along the path as they walked, responded, “Yeah, of course. We’ve been neutral for awhile so it wouldn’t make sense for us to go in.”

“Do you think you would go if we did?” Rey rapidly asked, attempting to hide her anxiety in her voice. 

Finn stopped walking and looked Rey in the eyes, immediately sensing her discomfort. He took her hand and squeezed. 

“Don’t worry, peanut,” he replied, “We’re not going anywhere.”

Rey swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to shake the edginess from her shoulders. A raw chill shook her spine down to her legs. As much as she appreciated her friend’s confident optimism, she couldn’t help but think that it was somewhat misplaced. While she had as much fortune telling prowess as an average street psychic, something deep inside of her that had always been there clawed in her ribs, warning of danger. 

“I hope you’re right.”

Finn, out of mercy or kindness, shifted the topic of conversation. 

“But, we really should discuss your birthday next week.”

_Oh joy._

“Ah, yes, that’s right,” Rey groaned out. 

Finn chuckled at her clear exasperation.

“Come now,” he countered with a light teasing tone, “I know birthdays are awkward for us but let us celebrate you, peanut.”

Finn and Rey always had each other’s backs when it came to unusually uncomfortable holidays such as birthdays. While each had their respective found families, there was still an underlying sense of immense sadness of what could have been. They always shared the notion that things could have been different if they were with their biological parents. It was particularly prevalent when they were children but, as they grew older, the thoughts faded from crying fits at night to just a muted pang of grief in the back of their chests. 

Rey gave a small side smile to appease her friend, “I suppose. What more needs to be done for it?”

Finn chuckled and then playfully tutted: “You know Rose would murder me without remorse for even leaking a tiny bit of a surprise.”

Good thing Rey hated surprises.

“She gave Ben an especially stern talking to and insisted he not spoil it.”

At her lover’s name, her ears perked up and she stammered, “She didn’t need to do that.”

“Peanut, he would do anything for you if you asked him to.”

Deep in her gut, she knew Finn was right. Her sweet, beautiful man always made it clear that he would do anything for her. Like the time he even asked his mother to ship a new copy of Jeanie Lang’s _A Book of Myths_ from the mainland just because she mentioned how excited she was about it. She never had to worry that Ben would leave her behind — he would always take care of her. 

Rey replied with a simple giggle and flushed cheeks

The pair came upon the Damerons’ auto shop and stood in front of the bench Finn sat on earlier. In the shop, the universally known voice of Poe Dameron bellowed. An invisible hand clamped down on Finn’s throat and the air flew out of him; all at once he reverted back to the man with eyes that wanted to run. Rey placed her hand in between his shoulder blades, soothing Finn’s anxiety like a balm on a singed burn. 

“Let me know how it goes,” she said in a soft voice and smile to match, “You can do this, peanut.”

Her friend chuckled at the nickname and relaxed slightly. He huffed out a huge wave of nervousness and turned to give Rey a hug but instead of hugging her tightly as he always did, he asked her a question that was lingering.

“Do you love him? Ben?” 

Rey paused, at first scared of how the next words would present themselves as if she had no control over them at all. But, as each second ticked by in the wind, Rey found that a warm glow inched up her chest and traveled throughout her body, all the way down to the tips of her fingers. 

She smiled and teared up at the stark realization of how deeply she loved Ben. It was more truthful than anything, more truthful than the commandments in her Bible. It was as if she was born to love him — as if he was the other half of her wayward spirit anchoring her to the ground.

Now, without any fear in her soul, she answered her friend with a voice stronger than she had ever known.

“More than heaven and earth.”

Finn beamed.

“Looks like we’re both fools in love.”

* * *

A few days passed since Rey’s outing with Finn when Ben walked into Hotel Nymeve’s dining area wearing his casual grey trousers and suspenders over a white collared shirt. Rey was working the dinner service at the hotel’s restaurant in her usual olive green working skirt, white blouse and apron. Based on Ben’s attire, she assumed he must have just proffered to stop by for a quick coffee or to say hello. But the distressed look in his eyes suggested something very different.

Sensing the urgency, Rey noted to Chewie at the bar that she was going to take her break. He nodded and snickered slightly when he saw Ben waiting for her. After setting down the empty plates at the bar, Rey wiped her hands on her apron and walked towards Ben, her slightly fraying braid swaying behind her as she did so.

“Hey,” she whispered as she approached him, taking stock of his panicked demeanor, “Is everything alright?”

Her lover nodded and asked, voice crackling like leaves in fall, “Do you have a moment? I need to ask you something.”

Her mild concern transformed into elevated panic in that moment. Her recent realization of her feelings for Ben made Rey feel incredibly vulnerable and she wondered for a moment if Ben didn’t actually feel similar feelings. 

It was then in the midst of pure survival instinct that she remembered she had to respond.

“Of course,” she said, ignoring how glassy her eyes might look, “We can go to the garden.”

She led Ben out of the dining room into the hotel garden through the bay window doors. They said nothing as they walked past verdant flower beds to the central fountain in the middle of the garden. Rey sat and put out her hand, offering Ben a seat next to her, but whether it was sheer nerves or cruelness he did not take her upon that offer. He bit his bottom lip and shook his head. 

Rey, starting to fully embrace the potential for tears, choked out, “Ben, please tell me what’s happening.”

Ben let out a large breath and put his hand in his trouser pocket. He pulled out a rectangle leather box, worn at the edges from use and age. Rey, confused and scared, just watched his movements closely as if she was deer on the run. 

Her lover finally sat down next to her and took her hands into his after setting the box down on the fountain’s edge. He gazed into her eyes and warmed her spirit with his smile. 

She was definitely wrong - no one looks at someone like that if they don’t adore them.

* * *

“I wanted to give you your birthday gift early,” Ben confessed. His palms had been damp all day in anticipation — the present in the box was a dead weight in his pocket. He needed to do it early before he lost the nerve. 

He couldn’t wait any longer. He had to tell her everything.

He nudged the box closer to Rey and she shifted her gaze between him and the box. Slowly, she took the box into her hand, feeling the worn leather texture in between her palms. 

“What is it?”

He just bobbed his head, pointing to the box with his nose.

“Open it.”

She looked at him, curious instead of confused, and looked down to the box in her hands. She lifted the lid and gasped when she saw her gift.

“Ben, oh my god.”

She placed the box with the utmost care on her lap and freed a gold hexagon-shaped pendant, decorated with small diamonds on the ridge. Inside the ridge were cutouts surrounding a small central rectangle with two diamonds placed on the inside. It was the most beautiful necklace Rey had ever seen, and the sunset’s light teased the stones and made them sparkle more than any constellation in the sky. 

When it dawned on her the value of such a necklace, her awe shifted to slight horror.

“Ben, this is so beautiful, but-”

He grazed his knuckles on her exposed forearm, interrupting her train of thought.

“It’s yours,” he emphasized, knowing her so well that he expected this kind of response. 

Rey’s face looked petrified as she digested the information. 

“It’s too nice-”

“So it's perfect for you,” he stated easily.

Rey’s voice faltered, her arms still petrified holding up the necklace. Ben sighed and gingerly took the necklace from her grasp. He stood up and unclasped the necklace, Rey tracking him with shocked eyes, and then bent forward to put it around her neck.

“It was my grandmother’s,” he whispered gently, bringing her to reality from the deep recesses of her mind, “and it matches a ring that I want to give to you at some point.”

Rey, seemingly starting to understand the sentiment behind his words, looked up to him as he pulled away from her. Her fingers grazed the cold metal of the necklace on her chest.

“What do you mean?” she asked, possibly petrified of what came next. 

“Consider it a promise,” he whispered, kissing both of her flushed cheeks. 

Rey stammered, “Of what?”

Ben squatted down and smiled at her (he can hardly remember when he didn’t smile at her) and gazed deep into her beautiful golden eyes. His thumb stroked her cheek as he held his entire world in his hands and he replied, in a hoarse whisper, nearly choking on his words: “A promise that I will never leave you, no matter what. And someday, when we’re ready, I vow to protect and provide for you for the rest of my life.”

It was these words that he realized he needed to tell her a few days ago— when he realized she was everything he ever wanted and needed. He wanted, more than anything, to be her husband, if she would have him. But, he knew that neither of them were quite ready for that. Rey enjoyed and thrived in her independence, and he knew that she would always be by his side. So, if they needed to wait until marriage was the right course of action, they would. 

They had all the time in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Italian Notes**  
>  Italians have coffee at all times of day and tend to have _un caffe_ (what Americans would consider "an espresso") around dinner time (which is why it wouldn't be surprising if Ben came around for coffee around dinner time).
> 
>  **Historical Notes**  
>  The battle Finn and Rey are discussing from the newspaper is the [Second Battle of Ypres](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Battle_of_Ypres), which was a monumental battle in terms of the use of chemical gas by German troops (and Canadians kicking butt but thats beside the point). 
> 
> In 1915, Jeanie Lang did actually write a [book](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18743411-a-book-of-myths) called _A Book of Myths_ that is perfect for the aspiring Classical nerd. 
> 
> Harass me on [Tumblr](https://korerosemarinus.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/korerosemarinus)!


	5. pt. I, ch. 5: maggio 1915

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll find you,” he said to Rey full of promise, “Save one dance for me.”
> 
> Rey smiled and waved him away. 
> 
> “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeaahhhh its been a minute huh?
> 
> Thank you all for your patience with my lack of updates. Life sometimes is chaotic and unpredictable, and between moving into a new apartment and work, the writing escaped me a tiny bit. But fear not, dear readers, as I will try to update more frequently as we move into Part II! 
> 
> Big thanks to my beta (and new roommate) @storiesofreylo for all her beautiful guidance and advice <3 Notes at the end as per usual. 
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

Rey’s birthday seemed like just another ordinary, mild tempered day. The sea breeze was calm, and the familiar call of gulls sounded off the coast, adding their voices to the swirling symphony of sounds in the hotel’s garden. 

As she stared out to the water from her chair in the garden, Rey fiddled her new necklace as it laid against her breast. She smiled fondly remembering the night a few weeks ago when Ben gave it to her. Her fingertips grazed each edge of the pendant, sparking the tinder in her heart to give way to a growing blistering flame searing her chest. A chuckle left her lips, then a flash of embarrassment, as she contemplated how wrong she was when Ben came to see her. She could not have been more relieved when he confessed his plans for their future: if she were being honest she was thinking about it too. 

She knew that Ben was everything to her, and even if life were to intervene, there would be no one who could fill her soul to the brim like him. Echoes of his smile played in her daydreams when she thought of her happiness shaded by the golden light of the dawn over the Adriatic. His laughter sounded off in her veins, sending chills up her arms that would scare most mortals. And it did, but not for long.

She was his goddess: she was beyond the constraints of such fears. 

“Rey!”

Rey turned to the door of the kitchen and saw the unmistakable form of Maz, calling her and waving. 

“Come on, birthday girl,” she yelled, “we’re almost ready for you! You have to get dressed.”

Rey got up from her chair, minutely groaning at the pomp and circumstance of her birthday celebration, and walked over to her guardian. In true Maz fashion, she regarded her with a small smirk that edged on the precipice of amusement. It was almost as if she knew throwing her a large birthday party would annoy her and she did so for that very reason. 

As Rey walked up to her, she pointed her cane towards Rey’s chest, spooking her slightly. Rey knew more than anyone that Maz was one to be feared, despite her small size. She was known in her youth to settle union disputes and break up bar fights when needed, and made it clear that she was not one to be trifled with, especially when her cane was involved. Rey wondered for a miniscule moment if she was in genuine trouble for sitting in the garden.

“There’s a new dress for you on your bed,” Maz remarked, “You should go change into it.”

Rey grimaced in slight shock: it was rare that Maz would buy clothes specifically for events like this. It wasn’t that the family was poor: they did well enough for themselves and managed to stay afloat throughout the years. It was just that the family’s money would always be put into the hotel’s welfare at the earliest opportunity, rather than their own utility.

“Maz, you shouldn’t-”

“Child,” she softly interrupted, taking Rey’s hands into her free hand, “Do not fuss. It’s a gift for you and you should be able to enjoy these things on your birthday. You only turn twenty once, after all.” 

“But-”

Before Rey could protest further, Maz gently smacked her calf with her cane. She got the message.

“Go change before people start coming!”

“Alright, alright,” Rey grumbled as she walked towards the stairs to her bedroom. When she opened her door, there was a striking emerald evening dress laid out on her bed. She walked over and held it up in front of her, taking in the lace detail and tiered shape. She stroked the chiffon and satin and admired the fabric. She had never worn anything this nice before - not even for Christmases. Maz must have truly spent a fortune, which made Rey’s stomach drop. They really did not need to spend this much on her: the money could have gone somewhere else more sensible. 

Maybe it was Maz’s words, or perhaps a small voice of temptation within her chest, but Rey decided for once to ignore her frugal inclinations and actually enjoy herself. Her friends could move away from Chandrila one day, and she wanted to spend all the time in the world with them while they still had it. Might as well spend it nicely dressed for an evening.

Rey shucked off her green work dress and slipped into the evening dress. Right before she worked to button herself in the back, she took a moment to admire her reflection in the mirror. Beyond the small layer of dust was the vision of a young woman, dressed in finery, looking stunned at herself and how ethereal she looked. Even with her modest self-esteem, she had to admit the dress really suited her. She pulled out her pendant from underneath the dress and laid it on top of the dipping neckline. If she didn’t know any better, she could have passed for one of the King’s young nieces. 

She yanked her braid out from its ribbon and proceeded to fix a low bun in her hair. It was loose and unrefined, but completely her essence. She fastened her only teardrop pearl earrings and looked at herself again. 

She smiled to herself, relishing her moment of vanity. 

A knock on her door broke her from her reverie. 

“Rey, you alright?” Maz called. 

“Yes, coming!” she responded, hurrying to button up the back of her dress. She pinched her cheeks lightly, adding a light flush, and hurried off to the party.

* * *

When Ben arrived to Hotel Nymeve with his parents, the party seemed to be in full swing. Sure enough, everyone in the village had arrived to celebrate Rey. The Cantina band from the island over was playing music that people were dancing to with utter joy. Maz and Chewie were talking Signora Holdo as they provided small bites and neverending streams of wine. He chuckled to himself: Rey would hate this. But she certainly deserved it. 

Being with Rey was the epitome of heaven for Ben: it provided him with a semblance of peace and contentment that he never had achieved before in his life up to that point. In addition to the normal angst expected of his adolescence, he had a long-standing inner voice that fomented chaos within his soul. His parents, as kind as they were to everyone else, had a uniquely average relationship with their son, one that teetered on the edges of unhappiness. His small island additionally did not provide much outlet for Ben’s ambition and dreams. Beyond his parents, he felt misunderstood and unseen by the world around him.

But not to her. Not to his goddess. She saw his soul and gave him the strength to believe he was capable of great things. 

And the strength to believe in his own future. 

“Maz really outdid herself, didn’t she, darling?” his father’s raspy voice sounded, breaking him out of his reverie. 

His mother’s honey and silk voice responded, “Definitely, it looks so remarkable.”

Ben adjusted the cufflinks on his navy pinstripe suit and, ignoring the small remarks of his parents, peeked around the dance area in search of the only woman he wanted to see. His mother looked at him and smiled warmly as she recognized his look of inner distress. 

“Ben, dear,” she said as she gingerly placed a hand on his arm, snagging his attention, “Why don’t you go ahead and search for our birthday girl.” 

He nodded and, with a ghost of a smile, proceeded to walk around the party. He gave the occasional greeting to some of the local villagers (he was his mother’s son after all) and said a brief hello to his father’s newest employee Kyra, who had just arrived from across the Adriatic. She clandestinely happened to walk into Han’s osteria the day after Chewie told him he needed to dedicate more time to the hotel to support Maz’s bad health. Han was particularly impressed with her wine knowledge (even if she wasn’t Italian) and her ability to charm anyone who came in. Truly, she was better than what his father could ask for. 

Ben made it to the bottom of the stairs that led to the bedrooms when he gaped at a vision in emerald at the top. There she was, waiting for him at the top of the stairs; smiling uncomfortably which didn’t distract him from her splendor. 

“How do I look?” Rey asked, her words on the edge of anxiety and confidence. She began to walk down the stairs which made her look positively ethereal. 

Ben, realizing his breath had escaped him, responded hastily with his lips curling slightly at the edges, “Like a goddess.”

Rey chuckled at the endearment and relaxed, continuing to walk down the staircase closer to him. His mind was still in slight astonishment at how lovely she looked, but then again Ben truly found her enchanting no matter the occasion. He hoped he would live a full life drunk on her visage. 

He took her hand into his, bowing down to give it a slight kiss. Ben was never a stickler for formalities but thought this occasion warranted it. When he looked into his love’s eyes, he caught the slight flush of pink on the apples of her cheeks. 

God, what he would do for those cheeks. 

Ben stood upright and took Rey’s hand into the crook of his elbow and they began to walk to the party. He hardly could look away from how the fabric of her dress illuminated the color of her eyes, alive with the essence of her soul. He didn’t particularly care if people commented on his behavior; he just wanted to be hers for the night. 

For always, if she would have him. 

They came upon Poe, Finn and Hux, who were all jovial (or at least as jovial as Hux could be, as he was not one for exuberant celebration) and eager to celebrate Rey. Ben didn’t miss the beaming smile that accented Rey’s face as she took in all the cheer from her friends. He placed his hand on hers, returning her smile as they enjoyed this moment together. 

They continued to walk around, Ben escorting Rey the entire time as they greeted the guests together. When they came upon Ben’s parents, Leia did not hesitate in smothering Rey in cheek kisses and hugs to wish her _buon compleanno_. His father followed with an affectionate pat on the shoulder and a crooked smile: a Han Solo trademark.

Ben rolled his eyes at the abundance of affection but deep inside he felt a small flicker of appreciation. Despite his family’s lukewarm relations, he was beyond ecstatic that they loved Rey almost as much as he did. As they began pleasant conversations, Ben visualized the future and how they were all like the image of the family he had always wanted.

“Oh Ben,” Leia remarked, patting his hand, “I was hoping I could introduce you to some of Signora Mothma’s friends from Calamari Island. Rey, do you mind sparing him?”

Ben’s annoyance permeated into a dark aura, one that was promptly snuffed out by the peal of giggles of the love of his life. She was most likely amused by the unabashed grimace on his face. 

“Of course not,” Rey responded, gazingly lovingly into Ben’s eyes. 

“Thank you, dear,” his mother said with an earnest smile, turning to her son to lead him and Han away.

“I’ll find you,” he said to Rey full of promise, “Save one dance for me.”

Rey smiled and waved him away. 

“Always.”

* * *

After Ben walked off, Rey walked over to Rose and Phasma over on the other side of the hall. They were all drinking the latest vintage of Phasma’s family’s signature white wine. They all laughed and joked with one another as they watched the boys of the group act like actual animals from across the hall.

Apparently alcohol can certainly affect one’s baseline for “appropriate behavior”. Currently, it encouraged Poe to ride on Finn’s back in an attempt to reenact god knows what, with Hux on the side watching with slight judgement and amusement. All that was known was that the women found it hysterical. 

“What the hell do they think they’re doing?” Phasma got out in between howls. 

Rose patted her chest in an attempt to regain her breath, “I have no idea but they look like absolute idiots.” 

Rey could barely hold back her snickers behind her hands. Her friends might have been idiots but she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

As the ladies recovered, Phasma did a double take as she caught sight of one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. She tugged on her suit jacket in sheer terror, hoping it would bring her back from the infatuated dream of this woman in her sight. The woman looked back at Phasma as she noticed her gaze, and smiled brightly with a blush drizzling over her cheeks. 

Rose nudged Rey as she noticed the besotted look on her friend’s face. Rey gave a knowing look back to her. She knew infatuation when she saw it. 

“Isn’t that Kyra, the new bartender at Il Falco?” Rose said, coming next to Phasma from the left. 

From the right, Rey swooped in, “Why yes it is, Rose. I wonder if she needs a tour guide? What do you think, Phasma?”

Phasma, brought back from a deep starlit daydream of beauty, coughed into her hand, looking at both of her friends with a flushed face. 

“I see what you’re doing, and no I won’t,” she responded, trying to save face. 

“Phasma,” Rose said sternly, moving to Phasma’s front, “You can’t fool us. Come on, what’s one conversation with her?”

Rey joined her in front and suggested, “I can imagine she must feel awfully lonely, being in a new place and all. I’m sure she could appreciate some good company, hmm?” 

With a wink, Rey followed with, “I’ve heard from Han that she has quite the affinity for Italian wine, you know.”

Phasma gave her a slight grimace, and then looked over to where Kyra stood. She straightened up, and mentally prepared herself for the ordeal that was successful flirting with a woman. 

“Well,” she said as she cleared her throat, “If she really does love wine, I suppose.” She walked on towards the bartender full of purpose and false confidence: it was the perfect combination to woo a young lady. Rose and Rey looked on, quietly cheering her on and giving her encouraging nods as she introduced herself to Kyra. 

The minutes rolled on, and after a few more glasses of wine, Rey gazed upon Phasma, usually so aloof at social events, talking so animatedly to the new bartender. She grinned for her dear friend as she recognized the signs of her intense flirting. It was known among the friends that Phasma was not like the other women in the village, and it was unspoken that their group, to protect her from undue hatred, would keep a vow to hide her proclivity and to simultaneously support it full-heartedly. 

Love was love, to Rey, and she celebrated and wanted it all for her friends. 

If they could have a sliver of what she had with Ben, that would be more than enough for her. 

“It’s love, I think,” Rose muttered softly as she came up behind Rey holding her wine glass. Rey turned to her and smiled warmly.

“You think?” 

Rose huffed affectionately, the both of them observing Kyra and Phasma giggling at an inside and intimate joke, “It’s Phasma, she hardly makes fast friends easily, you know?”

“Seems like we must be the exception.”

“No, she just really loves us.”

Rey sighed and let her affection for Phasma seep into her bones, all the way down to the marrow. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the two of them laughing in a bubble of their own and grazing hands. 

“She really does,” Rey all but whispered into the air.

The music suddenly changed and the women looked at one another as they recognized the foxtrot. As the music began, the familiar visage of Hux, dressed to the nines, appeared in front of the two. His lips, stamped into a nervous smile, trembled slightly as he shakily asked, looking only at Rose, as he only ever did, “Rose, w-would you kindly dance with me?” 

Rose, feeling more confident in her affections than she had before, beamed as she replied, “I would love to.” 

Hux, after he straightened himself back up to the portrait of confident assurance and poise, held out his arm for her. She put her drink on the table behind her and Rey and took his arm. When Rose glanced back at her, she winked and smiled, sending her off towards the dance floor. 

She chuckled as she then saw Poe and Finn talking with one another as they watched the dancers. Unbeknownst to everyone else but to Rey, they were kindling a small spark of love between the two, hidden from the world in a place only they knew. Rey’s heart flexed as she reveled in the happiness of her friends and the people around her. Even if she disliked parties, especially ones in her honor, she had to admit she enjoyed seeing everyone around her so alight with incandescent enjoyment. She also couldn’t contest the fact she enjoyed feeling pretty. As much as the dress was unnecessary, it felt wonderful to wear. 

“Rey.”

His voice sounded like the notes of a wind chime cutting through the exuberant ambiance of the dance floor. She turned to see Ben approaching her, setting her shoulders down in relaxation. 

“Hey you,” she responded.

Ben looked at the floor when he reached her, hands clenching and relaxing in what appeared to be anxiety. Rey looked at him with concern and compassion, wondering what he was so nervous about. 

He finally looked up at her and took a deep breath. He bent himself in a slight bow and held out a hand for her to take. Rey flushed at the sight: he looked like a prince that would be in one of her books. 

“May I-I have the honor?” he muttered out, tripping over his tongue. 

Rey couldn’t help but giggle: her man was so precious and adoring. 

“Of course, Ben,” she replied, beaming like the sun, and took his hand. Ben returned the gesture with a small smile and led them out to the floor. 

When they reached an open space, Rey stared up at her beloved as they began to dance the remaining bits of the foxtrot. The horns from the band began to fade as their eyes bore into each other. There was a palpable heat in the air as they slowly began to be the only people in their worlds. They were just two people who loved each other and that was all that mattered. 

Rey felt Ben’s fingers tighten around hers and she sighed, feeling so content with everything in the world. In a move of bravery, or maybe because she simply did not care, she laid her head on Ben’s chest as they swayed and her eyes closed. Ben put his chin on top of her head and held her closer to his chest, his heart threatening to break out from behind the safety of his ribs. 

“Did you have a good day, my darling?” he asked her.

Rey was pulled from her daydreams into her lover’s eyes, still smiling. 

“Absolutely,” she replied, “One of the best days of my life, I would dare say.”

Ben’s lips curled and he huffed, besotted by his love’s bright disposition. 

“I’m so glad.”

Ben took a deep breath and the music became louder around them. Rey tilted her head as she waited for what Ben was going to say. He moved his hands to hold her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

“Rey, I-”

A loud slam interrupted the music and everyone in the hall looked to the main doors to the lobby. Rey was immediately tucked into Ben’s chest, protected by his strong arms. Signora Mothma was at the threshold of the door with a face of complete alarm and fear. Leia walked over to her, and asked what had caused such an alarm. 

“We are at war!” she said, her voice deafening in the ballroom. 

Any air in Rey’s lungs left her, her chest and throat constricting. 

_No_.

“Italy has declared war against the Empire!”

_Nononononono._

Tears began to stream down Rey’s face without consequence or limit. She put her hand over her mouth, fighting back loud sobs, anticipating the worst fear and encapsulating the most sadness she thought she could ever experience. It wrapped around her chest and shoulders removing all of her ability to speak. She finally had the courage to look up to her beloved. 

At that moment Ben pulled away from her slightly, taking inventory of the topography of every aspect of her face. Simultaneously, Rey attempted to memorize the beauty in her lover’s eyes. His eyes were ablaze with strength and purpose, like he knew what he had to do. Like he was a man going to war.

In her predetermined grief, Rey wrapped both of her arms around the love of her life and squeezed, the tears never ceasing. 

In the distance, the red plane with the _tricolore_ flew across the sky with three additional black planes tailing it.

War was coming to Chandrila. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Historical Notes**  
>  Women in Victorian times would pinch their cheeks in order to get a nice blush on their cheeks. I imagine Rey, who would probably see little need to buy makeup (which was available and mass produced by this time), would probably employ the same technique.
> 
> [King Victor Emmanuel III](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Emmanuel_III_of_Italy) is the leader of Italy at this time (and is the King Rey refers to). 
> 
> On [May 23, 1915](https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/italy-declares-war-on-austria-hungary#:~:text=On%20May%2023%2C%201915%2C%20Italy%20declared%20war%20on%20Austria%2D,Italy%27s%20border%20with%20Austria%2DHungary), Italy declared war on the Austro-Hungarian Empire and officially entered World War I. I also made it Rey's unofficial birthday because, well, I'm all about the angst. 
> 
> **Star Wars References**  
> [Qi'ra (Kyra, but pronounced the same)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Qi%27ra)  
> [Mon Calamari (Island)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dac)
> 
> (sorry not sorry the angst now begins woooooo all aboard the pain train)


	6. pt. II, ch. 1: giugno 1915

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She walked with Ben, Rose and Hux towards the hotel, the goods in tow, the group of them hoping to get some drinks before dinner. As she walked hand-in-hand with Ben, Rey couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he was truly right. She knew deep inside that they weren’t going to be fine. The war was going to rob them blind - it was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo its been a hot minute WOOPS.
> 
> I took some time away from this to focus on my other projects, which ended up being a longer break than I realized. So, I'm proud to say this is finally getting booted back up! 
> 
> I'm realizing very quickly that I write long chapters (~3k per chapter at the moment), and for the sake of pacing I am going to keep them about 1.5-2k. So, the chapters might seem a little shorter than they have been, but they're intended to keep the story on the right pace and it allows me to stay consistent throughout finishing this fic (especially because I have partitioned everything into sections based on the historical timeline in the story). 
> 
> That being said, I hope you're ready for the PAIN TRAIN WOOOOOOOOOOO!! 
> 
> Reference notes at the end, as always!

* * *

**chapter 6: pt. II, giugno 1915**

The month after Rey’s birthday and the war announcement seemed to go by with the rest of spring. All at once in the blink of an eye it was summer - no longer full of the peaceful gaiety of flowers in bloom. It was a summer that would flare out with such intensity only to go into the chilling decay of autumn. The usual happiness and lackadaisy of the season could not be remembered - for this summer would always be known as the time before the war began.

  
A week after the party an officer named Capitano Rex had visited the island with some of his 501st Legion to recruit the young men for the impending war. While the town treated them with as much respect as could be afforded to visitors, there was no avoiding the fact that war had come to Chandrila. It could not be forgotten that they had come to take good boys who were not yet men from the village and send them to foreign lands and potentially never come back. 

It turns out that  _ il capitano _ had found excited recruits on the forgotten island. To no one’s surprise, Poe was the first to sign up at the town hall recruiting session, exuding his usual gallant charm. The next was Finn - always two steps behind him - who signed away without hesitation but without the same enthusiasm of his lover. He already knew what might be in store for him, and while he lived in general safety on the island, he expected the color of his skin might make things difficult in the military. His anxiety about the future was written on his hunched shoulders and furrowed brow. 

But he could not leave his lover to fight a war alone. Thus he was resolved to fight and he signed up - because it was the right thing to do.

After Finn, a few more boys from the surrounding smaller islands who had come to enlist signed their names in front of  _ il capitano _ . Hux, standing dutifully next to Rose who locked eyes with him, gave a grim smile in a weak assurance of comfort as he parted from her company and joined the line. Rose followed him as he walked for a step or two and Rey could have sworn she heard her heart break on the floor of the town hall. The two of them, while they had become closer in the wake of the announcement, had not yet told each other the extent of their feelings, but Rey knew that Rose thought of herself as his, and Hux hers. 

Maybe in this moment of uncertainty they would act on those feelings. It could be one good thing to come out of this all.

Rey switched her gaze to her man next to her, who was about to follow Hux into line. Forlorn and accepting of the circumstances, she let go of his hand willingly and watched the love of her life walk away from her, seeing only the grey back of his jacket, and she felt even the temporary loss of him unbearable. A hand lovingly clasped her shoulder and she looked back at Leia, who sadly smiled back at her. While Rey still felt the fear for Ben's life, she appreciated the empty comfort of the action nonetheless. In the numbness of her grief, she was glad to feel something, and that it was shared with someone else. Rey might be losing the love of her life, but Leia was potentially losing her son, an equally devastating loss. 

Hux’s turn in line came and, after a sentence or two, he signed the paper. Rey looked for Rose out of the corner of her eye next to her. She saw how the glassy look on her face seemed so foreign to the usual sunshine of her existence, and Rey reached for her hand, unable to witness it any longer. Rose glanced to her, a single silent tear seeming to deafen the sounds around them, and she took her hand with a broken smile. She squeezed her hand as they both watched Ben approach the desk and, after another sentence or two, he signed the paper, too. Rey couldn’t help the tear fall down her face as she watched, and her other hand reached for Leia’s, still on her shoulder. There was another squeeze and Rey released both her hands as Ben walked back to her, his determined but mournful eyes never leaving hers. 

If only it were so. 

She reached out for his arm as he came within distance and let him lead her and his family out of the building into the daylight of reality.

* * *

In the days following the visit from the captain, Rey mitigated her fear and grief with the company of her friends. Their regular picnics increased in frequency, and now included Kyra by Phasma’s side. 

It was like a whole new change in the world for Phasma. The burgeoning love the two had for one another seemed to juxtapose the impending heartbreak of the future for everyone. It warmed Rey’s heart to see them together, and it helped take her mind off of the war that was both so far and so near. Even though they were happy, Phasma and Kyra’s enthusiasm for the future was grounded in the realism of the situation, which could not be said for Poe.

At their current picnic, there was a small discussion between Finn and Poe, clad in their daytime suits, about what to expect on the frontline. Rey nearly wanted to vomit from the anxiety swirling in her soul, and the motion of Ben’s thumb rubbing her wrist was the only thing keeping her from doing so. She nearly wanted to scream at them to stop talking about it but said nothing, letting Poe's excitement and Finn's supportive cheer of the situation dominate the ambiance. T he boys talked, to Rey's dismay, for nearly twenty minutes about the action on the Front, about what it might be like to use a proper gun. Poe’s giddiness seeming to outshine the dampened mood of the group - he was Icarus, flying towards the sun in his boyish ambition. 

Perhaps out of a want to forget about what the future might be like, or perhaps because she didn't want him to fly too close to the sun, Phasma interjected.

“It might not be what you think.”

Everyone turned to look at her. Poe huffed in confused shock.

“How do you mean?” He asked, downing the rest of his glass.

She responded, staring him straight in the eye. “I worry that you will be disappointed with the adventure you seek-”

“Don’t you get it?” Poe exclaimed, standing up, gobsmacked at such a suggestion, “You’ve seen the papers, this is bigger than us - bigger than we could’ve possibly imagined. Our generation has a chance to be a part of something historic.”

He leaned over Phasma, whose hard glare would’ve turned him to stone, looking for confrontation bubbling beneath her cool facade. Everyone at the picnic froze, looking over at the scene. Rey wouldn’t let go of Ben, who was already putting his glass carefully down in anticipation of a fight. Rose held her hand over her mouth, heartbroken at her friends’ warring behavior, as Hux began to slowly edge in front of her. Kyra, as new as she was, had not stopped looking at Poe like a fighter waiting for the bell to ring. She was ready to fight alongside her paramour, glowering eyes blazing and hands raised slightly up. Her past days in the streets of the eastern cities across the city prepared her aptly for such a moment. Finn just watched in silence, waiting for what Poe was about to say next. 

“You don’t get to tell me what to think,” he continued venomously, letting his anger out, pointing an accusing finger at Phasma, “Just because I am ready to leave this island to make something of myself, and you will still be here, working that same vineyard in the middle of nowhere like some nobody.” 

In a moment, everything shifted. Hux and Ben, wrangling out of Rey’s grasp, moved immediately to intervene between Phasma and Poe, who simultaneously began to shift their bodies, about to throw punches. Finn held his lover’s arm back in a subtle attempt to bring him back down from his threatened pride and ambition. None of them said anything, the wind saying everything that needed to be said, until Hux decided to break the tension.

“Seems that this is the time to disperse, hm? Dameron, go walk it off.”

A moment passed with the two at odds. The tension was strung tightly like a clothesline before Poe huffed and stormed down the coastline. Finn looked at everyone, eyes downcast in silent apology, before running after him.

Phasma watched Poe walk off before Kyra, tugging at her arm, forced her gaze away.

“ _Amore_ ,” she murmured with a small smile, “I’ll make you a drink at Il Falco. Let’s go.”

Phasma huffed and walked back to the village with her.

Rose, who clutched onto Hux’s arm during the confrontation, looked up to him, watching his reaction. He sighed, looking down into her eyes.  “So much for  _ apertivo _ .”

She chuckled at the witty remark. Rey, however, said nothing. Overwhelmed by the emotions of the whole event, she began to channel her anxiety into picking up the blankets and food.

Ben sighed as well, looking at the horizon. “They’ll be fine.”

Rey turned to him for a moment as she cleaned. She didn’t know what to say, thus she said nothing at all, surrendering to the tension of the moment. 

She walked with Ben, Rose and Hux towards the hotel, the goods in tow, the group of them hoping to get some drinks before dinner. As she walked hand-in-hand with Ben, Rey couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he was truly right.  She knew deep inside that they weren’t going to be fine. The war was going to rob them blind - it was only a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SW Notes**  
> (Captain) Rex  
> 501st Legion  
> ALSO reminder that Kyra = Qi'ra
> 
>  **Italian Notes**  
>  il capitano = "the captain"  
> amore = "love"
> 
> Harass me on Twitter and Tumblr!


	7. pt. II, ch. 2: giugno 1915, pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wanted to tell her simultaneously a million words and none at all: he could not remedy her pain if he stayed or if he went. If he stayed, he’d long be branded a coward and would always feel ashamed of not doing his part, and if he left he’d be crushing the heart of the only woman he ever really loved. The Front was calling for him to serve, and he needed to be able to protect Rey and his family from the enemy. It would be the one good thing he was able to do for her and she needed to understand it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG props to all my Gingerrose twitter friends who helped me with the writing of the second half. I thought it might be nice to expand a little bit more on the other relationships to balance out the ANGST of the next few chapters and I really like writing Gingerrose in this context and wanted to give them some time to shine. 
> 
> We're about three chapters away from the end of this part so we are cruising along! The Pain Train continues.
> 
> Oh, and enjoy the new moodboard below!

* * *

**Chapter 7: giugno 1915, pt.II**

After drinks and the subsequent dinner at the hotel, Hux accompanied Rose to her home and Ben and Rey took an evening stroll in the garden. It was their ritual whenever they spent time together at the hotel: it allowed for some minute privacy with some sense of propriety. Plus, Rey was always able to pick some lavender to refill her sachet under her pillow. 

But what was usually a sacred space seemed off-kilter after the events of the day. In all the years they’d been friends, no one in their group had ever gotten into an altercation like that. There might have been a pissing match here and there but nothing like the antagonism in Poe’s eyes. He seemed so dramatically unhinged and pugnacious, more so than just his normal self. 

She wondered briefly if Finn was able to bring him down. Maybe they embraced one another as lovers do. Poe, despite all his faults, managed to keep himself together for the ones he loved.

And it was clear enough to Rey that he loved Finn just as much as he did. Perhaps there would be some hope for their friends. She already was losing so much to the war - she didn’t want to lose more happy memories than was needed. 

As they sat at the fountain, silence of the night fell upon the two with their hands intertwined. Rey, now in the comfort of the garden and of Ben’s touch, finally let the emotions free and cried. Truth be told, she had been crying ever since her birthday but now the tears began to reflect her real fears. Her friends were her world, Ben most of all, and she finally realized the reality of the situation.

“Rey, come here,” he said, holding his arms out for his sobbing lover. 

Tear-stained and whimpering, she walked over to him, dragging her feet in the slight delirious hope that if she could make this time last, Ben wouldn’t have to go. If she could slow down time with each of her steps, maybe they could be together for always, like he promised. They could always have their beachside picnics with cherries, wine, and their laughing friends in tow.

But it was not meant to be so. 

His arms wrapped around her trembling shoulders and he held her, waiting patiently for her tremors to stop. He couldn’t bear her sadness but he tried his best to be the man she deserved; someone who could take care of her. 

Ben wanted to tell her simultaneously a million words and none at all: he could not remedy her pain if he stayed or if he went. If he stayed, he’d long be branded a coward and would always feel ashamed of not doing his part, and if he left he’d be crushing the heart of the only woman he ever really loved. The Front was calling for him to serve, and he needed to be able to protect Rey and his family from the enemy. It would be the one good thing he was able to do for her and she needed to understand it. 

Tears threatened to come to his eyes as the moment of their separation became more and more real for him. He blinked them away and swallowed down his fear and heartbreak.

He needed to protect her, like he promised.

“Rey,” he whispered, squeezing his arms, “I need you to know.” 

She lifted her head, sniffling and wiping away her tears, and waited for him to continue. Ben’s knuckles gingerly ran along Rey’s swollen cheekbones and, with as much of a smile as he could muster, told her his feelings in as many words as he could.

“You need to know why I want to go.”

“No, no-“

“Darling, please, don’t make this harder for me.”

Pain in every part of her face, she stayed silent as he began to confess.

“You are my entire existence. I could not bear to lose you or to have anything happen to you. I have to go to ensure you’re protected-”

“Ben, it doesn’t matter, we can run away-”

He put a finger to her lips, and gave a sad smile. 

“I can’t. I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the eye. I have to do this; for you.”

A tear rolled down Rey’s cheek as she finally understood that this was an absolute: he was leaving, no matter what she did. 

“Please don’t do this, Ben.”

He kissed her forehead, then her cheeks. He gave a small lopsided smile and took her hands in his. 

“I have to.” 

Rey, without thinking, stood up and ran. 

Ben ran after her, the wind tearing its fingers through his hair. He followed her down the stairs to the water’s edge and just witnessed her run into the shallow shore of the sea. Over the small murmur of the waves he heard the love of his life screaming in pure agony, sinking down to her knees, not caring of the water’s touch on her dress. 

The view of his Rey in such pain nearly broke him in two. If he were a weaker man, he would’ve just sunk into the sand and cried. 

But, for her, he withstood the temptation and fortified his heart. He needed to be there for her while he still could. Unable to cope with her immense sadness, he came closer to her, motionless save for the sobs, and sank into the sea next to her. He held her, stroking her hair as she cried into his chest. 

“I will come back for you,” he promised, breaking the silence of the ocean and her muted tears, “I promise.”

Rey, exhausted from fighting with her love and needing to embrace every second of his limited presence, just nodded into his chest. She took in a breath, taking in the comfort of his familiar smell of clean linen and lemons, and then moved to wrap her arms around him.

“Okay,” she murmured back. 

A pause amongst the singing waves of the Adriatic.

"Come back to me."

* * *

A comfortable silence fell between Rose and Hux as they walked back to the Tico residence. It was an unsteady sort of silence that held unspoken truths and secrets, not yet free in the wind. All that remained was the sound of the breeze grasping at the leaves in the trees and the rries of the crickets in the meadows. 

The reality of their future became more real for Rose in the recent weeks. The war was never far from her mind, much like how Hux was. Shy by nature, Rose, even in the company of her friends, had trouble telling the true nature of her feelings. With Hux, she felt such a strong affection that seemed to overflow out her throat, and she had the long urge to tell him how she really felt about it. 

She sighed.

“Everything alright?” Hux asked, ever the gentleman. 

She was going to do it; she was going to tell him everything that she kept locked away in her chest. If Hux had the courage to go to war, she had the strength to confess her feelings, unreciprocated they may be.

Rose halted in the path, pulling away from his arm, and Hux observed her downcast glance with furrowed brows. He waited for her to respond, resisting the temptation to reach for her beautiful face and look into her eyes. His hand curled into a fist as he fought the urge. 

“Rose?” he asked, hoping his fear didn’t fracture his voice.

She looked back up at his gaze with fire in her eyes, determination setting into her jaw. 

“Armitage,” she started, invoking his first name which was a grace only she held. 

His body tensed, ready for uncertain news. 

“What is it?”

“I..” she began, nearly losing her confidence. However, when she realized this may be one of the last times she might see him before the boys got their ship out dates, she stood up straighter, ready to tell him every detail of her affection.

Of her early young love with no name determined.

“I have to say,” she said, taking a breath, “before you go, before you leave for the Front. I am not content with things as they are.”

Hux crooked his neck, his furrowed brow and a small frown teasing the edges of his lips. “How do you mean? Did I do something?”

“No! No, you didn’t,” she insisted, shaking her head. “It’s just that, I need you to know. I...Armitage, I...am not content with being your friend. I must tell you, that I need to be more to you than that.”

His frown slackened and his eyes became wide. “You mean-?”

Her lips tugged slightly, now with her secret out in the open. 

“Yes.”

His face then became one of pure shock: “All this time?”

She smiled, tearing up slightly. “I’m afraid so. I’ve fallen quite in love with you, Armitage. I know you might not feel the same-”

In that moment, Rose felt warm hands on her cheeks, holding her steady as Hux’s lips met hers. The bliss of the moment emanated through her body from her lips, like a sudden sunburst of warmth in her bloodstream. She smiled against his lips and rested her hands on his chest, tugging slightly on the lapel of his jacket. Her shoulders relaxed as her mind realized that he certainly felt the same for her.

He parted from her, the breeze a cool touch on their lonely lips, and he looked over her, memorizing every part of her. This was going to make leaving her harder, but at least Hux could go into the abyss of Chaos knowing the only woman he ever cared about loved him as he loved her, and they could now say it openly to one another.

But, of course, he used his standard wit in response to her brilliant giggly smile. 

“What a coincidence,” he said as he kissed her each of her cheeks and then her nose, refusing to let go of her face, “For I love you, too, my dear.” 

Another giggle left Rose’s lips and Hux, in a rare moment, gave her an unadulterated grin. 

“What a pair we make,” he remarked, kissing her before walking down the path with more stolen kisses and embraced hands the entire way. The pattern continued until Hux stole one final kiss when the Tico house came more in view.

“All this time you loved me?” she teased as he parted.

He chuckled with a bright grin.

“Always, my darling girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **One small Historical Note**  
>  Lavender satchels (to this day) are used to provide some natural scent to clean clothes and were extremely popular in the Edwardian Era as easy gifts to make using lace and linen scraps (as this [lovely lady](http://www.sewhistorically.com/edwardian-lace-lavender-sachets-tutorial/#:~:text=Lavender%20sachets%20were%20a%20popular,up%20fabric%20and%20lace%20scraps.) explains). They could also be used as a natural relaxer for under your pillow, which is how Rey uses hers. 
> 
> Harass me on Twitter and Tumblr!


	8. pt. II, ch. 3: agosto 1915, pt. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They parted, and Rey, smiling with wet eyes, patted his cheek gently. “Come back to me, Ben.”
> 
> “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNGHHHHHH the tears are gonna start falling soon! Writing this chapter happened so quickly but I hope you enjoy. We're now two chapter away from the end of this part but HOLY COW exciting! 
> 
> Please keep in mind that I do go into descriptions of Rey having depressive thoughts, and while I didn't tag "depression", I did tag "grief/mourning" which does apply here. In my experience, I tend to grieve things before they happen (as a kind of "anxious grief", in a way) so I took liberties with doing so with Rey, as she is grieving the loss of her normal with Ben. 
> 
> ANYWAYS, enjoy some romantic bits to balance out the angst <3 enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8: agosto 1915, pt.I**

As the weeks grew into months, the boys of the village got their dates to report into the main camp in Rome. It was clear from there, after basic training, they would go immediately to the Front. They were to take the train on the mainland on August 23rd, and from the moment they received that certain date, the group of friends could not ignore the gloom that fell over them. 

Poe and Phasma had reconciled long ago after their little skirmish, and the group valiantly tried to ignore the dark sky of the future during their regular picnics. It was like everyone tried to grasp onto the air in hopes that they could capture it for a moment. Their picnics, once full of life and dialogue, now were eerily silent. Everyone sat and looked out towards the sea in the arms of their respective lovers, occasionally sipping wine and going over old memories.

“Hey, Solo,” Poe quipped with Finn’s arm around his shoulder.

Ben turned his head on top of Rey’s, who was tucked against his chest on the sandy blanket, the sunbeams blocking out his vision. “Hm?”

“Guess we’ll have to put our little contest on hold.”

He huffed: Of course Poe Dameron wouldn’t let a competition go like that. 

“Guess so.”

A calm silence fell upon the group, with the boys teasing one another bit by bit about their past competitions. Finn chuckled when Ben brought up the time he beat Poe the first time they flew in their seaplanes together. 

“It was luck,” Poe grumbled, ruffled at Finn’s amusement. 

“You couldn’t even get your plane off the ground,” Hux retorted. 

“It was a sensitive plane!” 

“Sensitive is certainly one word,” Finn replied with a grin on his face. 

“You’re all just jealous!”

“Of what, your tin can of a plane?” Phasma replied with a choir of giggles from Rose and Rey. 

“Whatever,” Poe replied, flustered. He turned to Finn who smiled at him and gave him an encouraging pat on his thigh. 

“Although I’d probably kick your ass anyways,” Ben muttered, every part of him his father’s son who couldn’t let someone else have the last word.

“You know what-” Poe said as he rose and playfully marched over to Ben and Rey. 

Ben chuckled as he rolled away from Rey’s embrace, not wanting her to get in the crosshairs of whatever Poe was planning. Rey, dazed from the sun’s touch, groggily opened her eyes and saw Poe and Ben amicably scowling at one another.

“I’m still faster than you.”

“Whatever, Dameron.”

“Bet you a bottle of whiskey you can’t make it to the village and back before me.”

Ben, as level headed as he may be, would never step down from a challenge. It was a trait that Rey suspected came from his mother as much as his father. Whether she knew or not, he certainly couldn’t back down when he caught the slight amusement in her eyes - something in short supply these days. 

“You’re on.”

And off they went, everyone chuckling to themselves at the men who would be boys acting like fools. It was the most entertainment they had in awhile. Hux, his thumbs rubbing Rose’s shoulder affectionately, even had a small grin when he watched them run like drunk racehorses.

Phasma sighed while Kyra giggled next to Rose. 

“They never know when to quit,” she remarked. 

Finn and Rey looked at one another, the melancholy of the fleeting youthful moment not lost on either of them.

“They never do,” she replied back, squeezing Finn’s hand. 

* * *

After the picnic (in which Ben won the foot race, of course), the group decided to have one last party before everyone left. Everyone was hesitant to call it a “farewell” party for if they called it that it meant the hope of reuniting would disappear, and they could forgo that one precious thing.

When Leia heard of the plan, she wasted no time in sinking herself into the logistics. Maz, frail as she was, enthusiastically volunteered the hotel, with the intention of Chewie and Han helping out with the logistics. The party was set for August 21st - right before the boys were due to leave.

The dusk of the party, Rey stared out the window of her room in a daze, watching the sunset fall on the coast of the Adriatic. Ever since her moment in the sea with Ben comforting her, she had become functionally accepting of the course of future events. What brought her comfort was the realization that her Ben was a very capable man - and if he swore to come back to her, he would. 

He promised. 

And he hadn’t broken one yet. 

She fiddled with his necklace that hung around her neck. She felt the edges of the pendant prick her thumb gently and it anchored her back to the moment. 

The fear that war brought with it was particularly dangerous, because under the guise of nationalist fervor it carried hope along with it. It was hope that Ben and her could last through the war and be together properly. She let herself dream that instead of her room in the hotel, she was with him in a seaside cottage, dancing to the tunes of a record player with bright smiles on their face. The sun would be painting the skin on their faces, its warmth sinking into their bodies and into their hearts. The scene was pure bliss, and the happiness and joy it reflected was indescribably.

But the thing about dreams is that the moment they end, you begin to resent the present for existing. It was this certainty of reality that put Rey into a swamp of despair, and if she had the energy she would cry. 

She huffed, her thumb pressing a little harder into the pendant. 

Resolute, she decided as she walked away from the window that if they couldn’t have the future, she would have the imperfect present with the man she loved, and wouldn’t let the gods of war rob her happiness more than they already did. 

She dressed in her old birthday dress, the beautiful fabric feeling a little more like sandpaper than before, pinched her cheeks, and walked out downstairs to the party below. 

* * *

“Ben?”

The young man waiting at the bottom of the staircase turned to the source of that voice, expecting to see the love of his life, but rather saw a muted impersonation of her with a half-smile. He supposed that with the events that were to come in the next few days he could only ask for so much. His self-hatred at what his actions were doing to Rey began to grow, but when he thought about how he was leaving in the end for her sake, he felt a little less pitiful.

No words he would ever say would fully encompass how he felt for her. Poets used to write about the ones they loved like it was something ethereal or magical - like something inhuman.

For Ben, loving Rey was not like that at all - it was so primal, so human; their connection so much more than just a bond. Kissing her was like breathing the air, opening his lungs in the wake of happiness and utter joy. It was like she was a sliver of his existence - part of a dyad where it was only them and the rest of the world. She completed him, like another half. She was a goddess to him, but so much a part of his mortal self that it transcended the heavens and made him utterly human. 

It was his human heart that ached at seeing her so wilted. Even as she walked down the steps toward him, she looked distracted, her face looking down at the carpet at the bottom.

“Rey,” he said, walking to meet her at the steps, ignoring the tempest in his chest, “You look gorgeous.” 

As he put his hands on her arms, taking her in like a fine museum artwork, her shoulders relaxed and her smile grew a little bit more. 

There she was - the light in his life. She was still there, even under all the grey. 

“Thank you. Shall we?” she suggested, her head tilting towards the sound of celebration in the main ballroom. 

He nodded, taking her hand and placing it in the crook of his arm. He escorted her to the bright celebration of everyone in the village, drinking and dancing like there was nothing left to lose. Even Signora Mothma was dancing with Leia to the sound of music coming from the phonograph. Rey’s eyes immediately found Maz and Chewie, who were off on the sides watching the festivities with their hands intertwined. She waved at Maz, who waved back, her eyes and facade looking more tired than she was used to. Ben knew that Maz’s illness was getting worse, from what he heard from his mother. He hoped that she would be able to retire to bed early and rest from the exuberance of the festivities.

  
  


Ben led Rey to their friends, who were creating some of the greatest amount of noise in the ballroom. It seemed that Poe had convinced Hux to drink a little bit as he was dancing with him and Finn on top of a table, with Phasma, Kyra, and Rose drinking and laughing to their off tune singing. 

Somehow, perhaps it was the male ego, Ben was convinced by his drunk friends to go up and dance and sing as well. To Rey’s amusement, he did manage to let himself go and belt out the lyrics of the song somewhat in tune while also taking a sip or two of what he could only assume was the worst whiskey Poe could scrounge up. Ben’s face scrunched up like a crumpled sheet of paper and Rey couldn’t help but laugh. 

Her peals of laughter made Ben grin, looking down at her so that he could grasp every bit of this memory for when he was away. The celebration amongst them seems to blur out the collective terror of what was to come. In two days time, the boys would be on a train to Rome to fight for the destiny in a war that was posed to be at the very least legendary. 

But at what cost? Ben didn’t dare to consider - he was too enamored with the moment of euphoria.

* * *

As the celebration died down, and people began to one by one make efforts to return home, Ben pulled Rey aside. 

“My dear,” he murmured against the knuckles of her hand, “May I have a moment?”

Rey nodded, feeling a shock of thunder that began to blaze down her core. “Of course.”

Ben smiled. He led her out of the ballroom to the garden, back to the fountain that they frequented so often. 

As Rey sat, she ironed out the wrinkled in her dress. 

“What is it, darling?” she asked, nervous energy leaking from her words. 

Ben kept standing, fiddling with a box in his pocket. He slowly pulled it out, feeling the weight of what he was about to say in his palm. 

“Rey,” he said, before kneeling in front her. “Do you still have that necklace?”

“Oh, yes!” she replied, hastily putting the necklace out from underneath the dress she wore. The pendant gleaned brilliantly in the moonlight, looking like starlight adorning her neck. 

Ben beamed, seeing it on her. He moved to tenderly take it in his fingers, feeling the textures of the pendant press into his skin. 

“Do you remember when I gave it to you?”

She nodded. “You made me a promise.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I did. What did I promise?”

“That you would never leave me.”

“Yes,” he replied, feeling the guilt lodge itself in his chest. “What else?”

A pause. “That you would protect me for the rest of my life, when we were ready.”

He nodded, fidgeting with the box in his hand. “Exactly. I know we might not be ready but Rey-”

He pulled out the box, taking out a ring that made Rey gasp, her hand clasping over her mouth. 

“I need you to know that I want to do this with you. I know, have known for a while, that you are my eternity, and I would be honored if you’d be my wife. But, I want to do this right. I want to marry you like you deserve.”

Rey was shocked, overcome with warring emotions.

“So,” Ben continued, “will you promise me this?”

Rey looked deep into his eyes, resolute and staring right back at her.

“Yes?”

“Promise me that you’ll wait for me, and hold onto this ring until I come back. When it’s over, then we’ll get married.”

She nodded with the most genuine smile she had shown in near months, happy tears streaming down her cheeks. “Okay. When the war ends, we’ll get married. Promise?”

He smiled like all the stars were in his eyes and kissed her like she was fresh air. 

“Promise.”

They parted, and Rey, smiling with wet eyes, patted his cheek gently. “Come back to me, Ben.”

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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